2010 MTV VMAs: Chelsea Handler, Lady Gaga & Taylor Swift

It was Lady Gaga's night at the MTV VMAs as you probably already know by now, carting off a total of eight awards in a variety of categories.

As usual, she didn't disappoint with her flamboyant and utterly ridiculous costumes. Because, really, what else can you call them? Fashion? Oh, I think not. You won't be seeing Lady Gaga at Anna Wintour's dinner table anytime soon, I can assure you.

Unfortunately, Chelsea Handler fell flat as the first woman host of the VMAs. If she was nervous, she didn't seem that way. But, there was just not one moment of real humor during the entire show. Which was a total bummer for me, because, she was the only reason I tuned in at all. Well, okay, her and Taylor Swift.

After last year's Kanye West debacle (which is becoming a tradition it seems) Taylor answered back to Kanye in the way that Taylor Swift does best - with a song.

The performance was, in my view, the best of the evening, though I'll be the first to step up to the plate and say, "good gawd, that girl can't sing". Great lyricist? Absolutely. Confident and charismatic performer? Very much so. But, Taylor Swift's voice is so awful she makes Bob Dylan and Neal Young sound good. Seriously, people, that's bad.

The song itself, entitled, "Innocent", was a little too deep for me, frankly. I've reached the age where I need you to say things in a very straightforward manner and while you're at it, say exactly what you mean. All of this nuance and metaphoric speaking sometimes eludes me. But, I think she was telling Kanye, "it's alright dude, we all screw up every now and then."

Overall, the night was boring and uninspiring. Quite unlike the MTV Video Music Awards in days past where Madonna writhed around on the floor in a wedding gown or Britney Spears danced with a python.

Or when Beyonce, with her posse of ample derrière dancers brought sexy back in a very "bootilicious" kind of way. Or when the very reclusive (and more than a little weird) Prince would take the stage and show everybody that he can afford to be strange and answer to an unpronounceable symbol, because, well, he's Prince, after all. Those were the days, huh?

Today, pop music seems to be all about hip-hop, which is okay, I guess. Except, hip-hop is a little bit like reggae. If you've heard one song, you've definitely heard every last one of them. Even having a white dude rap is not enough to mix it up for me. It's still the same angry expressions complaining about the same boring things. Yawn.

I guess if you're old enough to remember Mick Jagger before he had more wrinkles than a Shar- pei or Cher before she was 164, then the MTV Video Music Awards are just not for you anymore. But, there's always next year, when Cher is 165.

Sources:

"Lady Gaga's Statement Making Speeches: A Timeline" September 13, 2010. MTV.com. September 14, 2010. http://www.mtv.com/news/articles/1647785/20100913/story.jhtml

"Lady Gaga Dressed Like a Dog's Dinner" September 14, 2010. UK Daily Mail. September 14, 2010. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1311683/Lady-Gagas-raw-meat-dress-But-offal-MTV-outfit-real-fake.html?ito=feeds-newsxml

"Chelsea Handler to Host the MTV VMAs" August 24, 2010. Associated Content. September 14, 2010. http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/5717094/chelsea_handler_to_host_the_2010_mtv.html?cat=2

"Taylor Swift 2010 VMAs: "Innocent" Lyrics Reflect on Kanye West Incident" September 13, 2010. CBS News.com. September 14, 2010. http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-31749_162-20016175-10391698.html