2010's Worst Christmas Songs from Major Musicians

Phil Dotree
Everybody loves a good Christmas song, but if you hurry a little too much, you can end up with a really, really awful rendition of a Christmas classic or a new Christmas tune that's little more than an attempt to cash in on the holiday. Here's a look at four Christmas songs from 2010 that would be perfect gifts for a particularly despised in-law.

Train -" Shake Up Christmas" - After their hit "Soul Sista" went from catchy to annoying in record-breaking time, Train decided to give their fans a big lump of coal with "Shake Up Christmas," a song more disgustingly sweet than the Coca Cola that it was written to sell.

Oh, yeah, "Shake Up Christmas" is Train's shamless Coca-Cola cash in. That explains lyrics like "Shake it up, shake up the happiness / Wake it up, wake up the happiness." They weren't really bringing their best lyrics for this one, and the music's super-simple and lightweight enough to make you want to stab your speakers when you hear it.

Mariah Carey - "Oh Santa!" - The exclamation point at the end of this song's title is the only exciting part of it. Mariah Carey sounds tired and uninterested, as does the beat and even the chorus behind Carey's always-acrobatic voice. Even though Mariah Carey hits the notes, "Oh Santa!" has a pretty tired concept (it's a girl asking Santa to get her a boyfriend or something) and a really, really annoying cheerleader chant thrown in for no reason. Mariah has a string of great Christmas tunes under her belt, including "All I Want For Christmas Is You," so maybe a dud was inevitable.

Jessica Simpson -" My Only Wish" - This Jessica Simpson song basically has the same concept as both Mariah Carey songs mentioned above--Jessica Simpson doesn't want lots of fancy stuff for Christmas, just her lover. Kind of what you'd expect from someone who ordered pizza for her engagement party.

Jessica Simpson's just not a very good singer; she sounds like she's groaning more than she's singing, and the whole tune sounds like a mix between a zombie and a blow-up-doll.

Cast Of Glee - "Baby It's Cold Outside" - The cast of Glee has made a lot of money from their infectious, high-schoolish enthusiasm and some great vocal talent. However, they've been putting a pretty ridiculous number of albums out in a very short span of time, and sometimes their song choice falls a little bit flat.

A good example is "Baby It's Cold Outside," which is a classic Christmas tune that keeps getting less classy each time it's performed. The cast of Glee actually sings it pretty accurately, but the song really, really sounds creepy--its lyrical content is pretty deeply rooted in a time where getting someone drunk to have them stay the night was an acceptable practice. It's probably time for this song to go away. There are enough good versions of it out there, and the cast of Glee just gives it a really extra-creepy, hold-the-classy vibe that it really didn't need.

What are your least favorite Christmas songs of 2010? Post below.

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Published by Phil Dotree - Featured Contributor in Arts & Entertainment

Phil Dotree has written copy for numerous websites and news sites for five years. His articles have appeared on the Howard Stern Show, Fark, Digg.com, and more. Phil is currently working on a book about fr...  View profile

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