2011 Grammy Awards Recap

So last night we had our little televised music party called the Grammy Awards, and it was fun I guess. I don't think I've ever been disappointed with a Grammy Awards, quite frankly. But last night was quite good so let's talk about some of the highlights.

• The Aretha Franklin tribute was FIERCE. They gave stinking Christina Aguilera entirely too much song to sing, and unfairly made Martina McBride just kinda stand there. Did you guys see Christina totally biff? Poor girl, she can't seem to catch a break. It was probably one of the all-time best opening numbers. And Aretha looked great, lost a ton of weight, but still looking good.

• Train won a Grammy for that insipid and horrible "Hey Soul Sister" song. Nothing against Train, someone has to sing the songs soccer moms love, but that song is just elementary and awful. It reminds me of one of those "Let's Rhyme!" songs the Wiggles sing. Like "Madonna" and "Wanna" that people, got a Grammy.

• All the old people came out like it was free Geritol night or something. Dylan, Jagger, Streisand, Mozart...all the old fuddy duddies. That was nice. For my mom.

• Cee Lo was robbed. But props to him for letting us know what watching old Elton John footage on LSD must be like. That was a trip! And Gwyneth "Goop" Paltrow? Wow, she can BLOW! I was half expecting the warbling we came to love on "Duets" but she full on took it to church last night! Best Performance of the night.

• Some new chick Prince grew in a lab in Minneapolis won "Best New Artist" and caused 12 year old girls to cry outrage when the Bieber Monster didn't win. Her name is Esperanza Spalding or something, a jazz singer. Yes, I guess they still make those. So it's cool, yay actual musicians and stuff.

• Lady Gaga has jumped the shark. Really dude, an egg? Then you come out with some weird alien thing and pointy edges all over your body? We get it, you're weird. Now shut up and sing already. How funny would it have been to have someone in the Bjork swan dress walking behind her?

• Speaking of the Ladies, Lady Antebellum won everything last night. Barf. Not because they're terrible, they have more Grammy's than I do, but that song was killed to DEATH on the radio. Ick.

• And finally, some hipster young indie band won Album of the Year. The Screaming Palm Trees or whatever the hell. This is just the Grammy's cruel way of encouraging aspiring musicians that they too can make it without selling out! Well good for them, they seemed like it was the shock of their lives and very humbled by it. I'll learn their name eventually.

So that's what happened last night on the Grammy's just in case you were watching Desperate Housewives or something. What did you think of the show overall?

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