24 Hours of Healthy Life to Drop Dead...of Laughter!

Aren't you tired of all the studies that come out everyday about having a healthy life? Magazines say we should eat healthy everyday, that at least you should eat an apple to get iron, a banana to get calcium, an orange to get vitamin C, a cup of green tea without sugar to prevent diabetes, two litters of water (that takes double time to take them out than the time you took to drink them!), etc.

Everyday we have to take yogurt to get a good bone's density and avoid anemia, what ever that is supposed to mean, all I know is if you don't, they say you'll start seeing people a little blurry.

Don't forget to take a daily aspirin to prevent heart attack, and a glass of red wine to prevent the same thing and to digest your food better, another glass of white wine for the nervous system, and one glass of beer for...I can't even remember. What was it for??? The case is that if you take it all together, plus de cup of green tea, you wouldn't even feel if you get a nervous breakdown!

Your must eat fiber everyday, enough to help you go without trouble...if you get to eat enough of it, you'll get enough material to knit a pullover! And don't forget to exercise at least half and hour 3 times a day.

You have to cook around 4 to 6 light meals and don't forget to chew them at least 100 times before you swallow them. So you do the math...just eating you spend at least 5 hours a day.

Ah! Remember to brush you teeth 3 times a day after each food, since you ate yogurt, apple, banana, orange, so for as long as you have teeth, you have to clean them out and don't forget to use floss, Listerine or Plax, a gum relaxer and changing your tooth brush every 3 months. I think you better remodel your bathroom, install a radio in it, because between the water you'll drink, the fruit, the fiber, and the teeth cleaning, you'll spend several hours in there.

You have to sleep 8 hours everyday, and work at least 8, plus the 5 hours you spent eating, is 21, so you have 3 hours left if you don't get into a traffic jam or a strike!

According to statistics, we see at least 3 hours of TV daily. Well you can't anymore since you have to walk at least for half an hour everyday (just a tip, once you have walked for 15 minutes, get back fast so the half hour don't become and hour. I've learned that from experience).

You've got to take care of your friends, since they are like the plants that need water daily; speaking of water; I've got to go drink my second little, hold on a second).

Ok, I'm back, sorry it took me so long; I had to stop by the bathroom too.

Now let's get to the facts. You need to read at least 2 newspapers daily, since you need to know what's going on and to have something to talk about at the office too. Oh! Don't forget to have sex everyday, since is good to release stress and it helps you burn out some calories, but be ware to not fall for the routine: be creative, innovative, and renew seduction. That takes even more time. Don't even think about the Tantric Sex!

You need to take time to map the floors; do the dishes, wash the clothes, and don't even mention if you have pets or Children?!

Up to this point, you can consider suicide as a valid option. Or have more sex to take out some stress, but that will take you more of your time.

So far: I've counted like 30 hours a day!

The only possibility that comes to my mind to help you save some time each day is to do several things at the same time. For example: taking a bath with the mouth open so you can drink the 2 litters of water. Now that you are in the bath piss at the same, get out of the bath with the tooth brush in your mouth and make love to your couple, at the same time you match some TV. Take out the tooth brush and start commenting the news with your love one.

Do you still have a free hand? Why don't you use it to call your friends and parents? Hold the auricular with you neck and take the two glasses of wine; you may need it after talking to your folks. Your couple can give you the yogurt, the banana, the apple, and the orange. Don't forget to eat the fiber and the green tea, I'm sure it will make you ran to the bathroom again, But at least you would have covered most of your daily tasks.

If you still have 5 minutes left, vote for this article and send it to your friends as you take a pill of calcium, magnesium and zinc, that may do you some good and give you more energy to accomplish this schedule...Have a nice day!