3 Attitudes to Keep Your Marriage Strong

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, nearly half of all marriages in the United States end in divorce. Nobody enters a marriage intending or expecting it to fail, but few couples really work at the relationship and stay together. A few reminders about attitude can help keep your marriage strong.

Priorities

Couples who stay together are close-knit. Your spouse needs to be one of your highest priorities, if not the very highest. This concept is true in many marriages, but people often don't show this attitude to their spouses.

Make time for each other. Even if you are busy with work, kids, and household duties, take time at least once a week that is your time for each other. Don't watch TV, invite the neighbors over, or include the kids. This should be time you spend only with and on each other. Try to get a half hour of couple's time, just talking and enjoying each other's company.

Couples who stay together play together. It's true. You should plan a trip together as a couple at least once a year. It can be just an overnight stay in a local motel, as long as it is a relaxing time the two of you spend together. Some parents resist this idea, saying they want and need to spend time with their kids. But your kids will suffer if your marriage fails, so it is important to strengthen your relationship and stay together.

Although it may be difficult, you may also need to turn down some invitations or requests for help. If you are constantly staying late at work, your spouse is probably feeling second-best. If you are always running off to help the neighbor with something on your day off, you may be signaling that your partner is less important than this other person. While we all tend to work late occasionally and need to spend time with friends and helping others, it should not become a habit. If possible, find a way to involve your spouse. Make your marriage your priority.

Remember

All couples get irritated at each other once in a while, and such feelings shouldn't be bottled up. But when you are picking up his dirty socks from the living room for the hundredth time or shoving all her shower products out of the way to try to find room for your single bottle of shampoo, think of what is important. Recall what made you fall in love in the first place. Think of all the things you love about your spouse rather than focusing on the annoying. Consider what your life would be like if you didn't have to pick up the socks or move the bottles: would you really be happier? Is that chore so much work that you would rather not have this person in your life? If you want to stay together, you need to hold on to those feelings and memories.

Anger

Real anger, not just irritation, is also common when people share the same space, no matter how they feel about each other. In a marriage, it may be all too easy to assume any anger one spouse shows is directed at the other. If you feel like you are the focus of the anger, remember that your spouse's anger isn't always directed at you. He or she might be angry at a situation or a different person altogether. You might ask what the issue is, but if your partner doesn't want to discuss it, let it go and don't take it personally. If you are the one who is angry, you must feel what you feel, but try to tell your spouse what you are really angry about.

Stay together

Couples who stay together in long-term marriages have good communication, and they are good at showing their love and appreciation for each other. With a little effort and a little practice, your marriage can be one of the 50% that works. Staying close is the key to staying together.