3 Different Ways to Find a Mate

According to author Sharon M. Rivkin, a relationship writer, finding a mate is not about finding the perfect or fantasy person, but about finding someone who can love and understand you for who you are. There are several ways to find a mate. You may have to go through some trial and error to find "the one." Don't expect your ideal mate to knock on your front door-you have to go out and meet people in a variety of places.

Online

One of the most popular places for meeting a mate nowadays is on the Internet. The Internet allows you to browse a variety of potential mates at once, from the comfort of your home desk, and contact people who you are interested in within minutes. If you want to be successful at finding matches online, you have to learn the art of writing online ads and ad responses that are interesting and eye-catching (see "Resources" for help). Sites like PerfectMatch, eHarmony, Plentyoffish, and Craigslist are all popular places for meeting possible love interests.

Referral from a Loved One

Some people find mates through friends or family members. If you have a loved one who considers herself to be a matchmaker, ask her to set you up on a blind date. While sometimes your loved one's idea of who you should date and marry may differ from your own, this is oftentimes a reliable method because the match is based on your loved one's own impression of the possible match's personality. Also, chances are that your friend or family member does know you and your preferences well. For instance, a married woman may try to match her sister up with her husband's best friend, who has the same motivations, mindset, and mannerisms as her husband.

Speed Dating

The concept of speed dating was invented by a Rabbi who wanted to help couples meet and get married. It became popular in the 1990s. It is a way of meeting many different people, face to face, within a short time period of about two or three hours. At the speed dating party, you have about five minutes to talk to a potential mate, then you rotate and move onto the next person. You can talk about everything from your interests, your job, and your passion in life. If you are interested in someone at the event, you fill out a score card and give it to the event organizer, who will facilitate the love connection.

Sources:

Sharon Rivkin "Giving Up the Fantasy of the Perfect Mate - What REAL Marriages Are All About" 06/18/2009

http://www.intent.com/sharonrivkin/blog/giving-fantasy-perfect-mate-what-real-marriages-are-all-about

"History of Speed Dating for Singles" Cyber Parent

http://www.cyberparent.com/speeddating/historyrapidspeeddating.htm