3 Easy Steps to Keep Your Lottery Winnings

When I win the lottery, I'm going to be smart. You won't see me on eBay in 5 years trying to unload half a dozen solid gold, jewel encrusted baby Jesus statues to pay the taxes on my 12.2 million dollar estate. I won't be the woman wearing $700 shoes, or carrying a $5,000 dog inside of an $11,000 purse. That's right, I've got it all planned out, and perhaps sadly, there are no private islands, or any honest-to-god French maids in my future. The following is my genius plan that will be set in motion the moment they call my power ball number.

1.) GET IT OUT OF MY HANDS- First, and quite importantly, I want to get my winning ticket out of my hands, and into the hands of the lovely people who will give me my money. I have the lottery headquarters on my speed-dial ready to be pressed the second they are done announcing my numbers. By the time it rings I will be well on my way to the office building, ticket burning a hole in my pocket the whole way. If you fail to do this correctly, you could always just earn your millions as a country singer, with a hit song about how you once hit it rich, but misplaced your ticket.

2.) GET IT IN PAYMENTS- An upfront payment is really tempting. But I would really like to still have money in 10 years. Getting yearly payments is really the only way I can guarantee one hundred percent that I will have money in the years to come. It would also be a good way to prevent myself from ending up with a life-size wax replica of Elvis Presley in the foyer of my very own recreation of Graceland. Which I admit would be pretty cool.

3.) TELL NO ONE- It will be very tempting to run up to the guy you've always hated at work, and tell him everything you've ever mumbled under your breath to him, knowing you can get away with it because you just hit the jackpot. Resist the urge. The news is bound to get out, but it's better to come from a neutral source. Nobody likes a snob. No matter what you do, you'll have family, friends, and people who say they were in 10^th grade biology with you coming out of the woodwork to ask you for money. At least if they find out later, you can try and convince them you already blew it all on the diamond of the week club.

So winning the lottery will not make my life a cake walk. It will be a lot of hard work and sacrifice. Lucky for you, I am willing to take on the burden of this for you until you can memorize my plan and are prepared for riches of your own. Good luck next week. This week's is mine.