3 Effective Strategies for Disciplining Your Preteen
Sentence writing - It may sound like a very passive form of discipline for a preteen, but that doesn't mean it isn't effective. My own eleven year old son responds well to this form of discipline. When he yells at a sibling or speaks disrespectfully to me, I sometimes have him sit down and write 25 to 30 sentences stating that the behavior is not acceptable (for example, a sentence may state something such as, it is not okay for me to hurt my sister's feelings). Further, he's required to write the sentences in cursive, which he hates, making the discipline something he wants to avoid even more. There's no yelling, no empty threats, just an instant disciplinary action that makes him focus on the unacceptable behavior, and makes him want to avoid a repeat offense.
Housework - Many years ago a neighbor friend of mine who had two preteen children, would, if they behaved in some unacceptable manner, send them indoors to fold socks. She always had a basket of laundered socks that had yet to be matched up, and the kids hated the chore so much that if they were acting up, she only had to say to them, "do you want to go fold socks?", and the children would quickly modify their behavior. Again, it's a disciplinary action which allows the parent to avoid yelling or losing control, and it forces the child to sit quiet and alone, which is great for regrouping, and often leads to improved behavior afterward.
Outdoor time-outs - No, this doesn't mean sending your preteen outside to play when she's acting difficult. Instead, it's a form of time-out that not only removes your preteen from the environment in which they were misbehaving, but it can cause them enough discomfort that they'd like to avoid future occurrences. How? Well, by placing a chair outside your back door, or a time-out rug or seat outside your front door, the child is forced to deal with the weather outside during their time-out. My preteen son hates to be sent to a time-out on the back porch in the middle of a stifling hot summer day. And if I send him to stand outside the front door for a few minutes when it's 40 degrees outside, he has a tendency to cool down fast, in more ways than one.
Published by Maggie Blake
I m a homeschooling Mom of four. As a result, most of my articles focus on parenting, homeschooling issues, and educational travel with children. View profile
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12 Comments
Post a CommentGreat article; good reading!
Interesting. i think it should start when they are small and let them make little mistakes so they learn thru natural consequences.
Love the sentence-writing technique. It would be great if more parents used it, rather than yelling or doing some other negative action.
Love the sentence-writing technique. It would be great if more parents used it, rather than yelling or doing some other negative action.
Very good suggestions! My parents used sentence writing a lot for me when I was a preteen, and I got the idea quickly. :) It didn't seem to hurt my love of writing, though - I'm now a 4.0 GPA college student.
Being someone who loved writing even as a kid, being assigned to write sentences as a form of reprimand by my teachers now and then throughout my school career never made me dislike writing...it just made me avoid doing what I'd had to write sentences about. My son HATES to write anything "assigned", and he has since long before I began using this tactic with him. With our homeschooling I take every opportunity to let him write about anything he's interested in, and he's currently on about chapter 8 of a book he's writing. If the writing is meaningful to him, he loves it. Occasional sentence writing as a way to get him to focus on a negative behavior hasn't changed that. :)
Awesome tips, Brandy! :)
Some I can see using -except for the sentence writing-I really want my kids to like writing as using it as a form of discipline kind of makes it not fun...so I haven't used that technique and now if I have to discipline my daughter and told her she would have to write...she would probably cheer. Now I do like the outdoor time out and housework ideas!
I loved you're tips for teens. I have 5 children and feal the same way as you do when i see a child being less than honorable to another child or a parent.
As parents today we need to expect more from our children because the world is changing and we need to change with it. If you ask me this Betty (chick)seems like a lose cannon.LOL
Great tips and good information for parents of pre-teens. Thanks for sharing, Brandy.