3 Tips to Correct Destructive Fighting in a Marriage

When it comes to fighting your spouse, there is not much good that can come out of it. But there are actually some forms of fighting that are so destructive they can destroy a marriage over time.

I'm going to reveal to you 3 mistakes that couples may do when they fight that can lead to a sour marriage. After each mistake I will also give you a tip on how to handle the situation better.

Mistake 1 -- starting a discussion in anger.

If you began a dialogue with your partner and you are angry and harsh from the beginning, you will pretty much shut your partner down from the outset. Your partner will either completely shut you out or come back with fire. Either way nothing will be accomplished.

Tip 1 -- set a time to talk

If there is something bothering you and you need to talk to your partner about it, ask if you can discuss something with them when they are available and in a talking mood. If your partner denies a request, ask them when a good time is in a very calm manner.

Mistake 2 -- being a criticizer

Even though it's done unintentionally, individuals often criticize their partners character instead of their behavior. The partner could just be having a bad day or there is another reason their mood is down. A line must be drawn separating a spouses character and there behavior.

Tip 2 -- criticize the behavior, not the character

Although all criticism cannot be constructive realistically, there are ways to criticize a partner's behavior instead of their character. You do this by making comments directed towards their actions and not the person. If you're frustrated with your spouse for not cleaning, direct your comments at your frustration with a dirty house. Don't direct your comments to your spouse being lazy.

Mistake 3 -- name-calling

Name-calling is extremely damaging and will never produce anything productive. Nothing can wound a person more than name-calling.

Tip 3 -- go to your corner

If you feel address upon where you're going to start calling names, remove yourself from the discussion. Fill your partner that you don't want to argue that you need a few minutes to get yourself together. My temporarily removing yourself from the situation, you allow not only yourself but your partner time to cool off and do a little though gathering. Remember you call someone a name you can't take it back.

If you can identify with these mistakes, use the tips to stop destructive fighting and build or rebuild a loving relationship.