30 Rude or Thoughtless Remarks & Their True Meanings Revealed

Have you ever had trouble understanding rude or thoughtless remarks, even as you're making them? Do you ever feel unfairly criticized, discouraged by put downs or surrounded by negativity? Then this, my mean or clueless friends, is the article for you.

If you're the pessimistic ejaculator, find out what you're revealing about yourself. And if you're on the receiving end of the spite stick, use this secret knowledge to arm yourself with optimism. After reading this article, you will feel free to laugh out loud at pessimistic people because you'll know their secrets. (Added bonus: it's guaranteed to drive them crazy.)

Some people routinely disguise negativity as a question or as a seemingly innocent statement, joke or warning. The first line gives an example of a rude or thoughtless remark. The second line translates it into what the offender is really saying.

You have way too much time on your hands.
I do not possess the ability to think beyond the depth of my cereal bowl.

I need some space.
I am much too self-centered and obnoxious to put any effort into anyone except myself.

Is that what you're wearing?
My total lack of imagination will never allow me to appreciate true beauty or creativity.

That isn't really your color is it?
I am color-blind and sensitivity-stupid.

Are you an idiot?
I am an idiot. But now I feel less alone.

Do you have your head up your ass?
Because of my inability to communicate, no one ever understands me.

Are you really going to eat that doughnut/potato chip/box of chocolates?
I am always hungry, but I am afraid to put anything that tastes good in my mouth, since people would then realize what a greedy little pig I really am.

That will never work.
I would never have the guts to try that.

You don't really want to do that, do you?
I don't want you to do that because there's nothing in it for me.

It's not rocket science.
I don't understand it either.

That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard.
I with I'd thought of it.

You're beyond help.
Even if I knew how, I am too lazy to help you.

They really pay you to do that?
I hate my job, and I don't make enough money.

You'll never make any money doing that.
I hate my job, and I want you to hate your job too.

Are you happy now?
The only thing that will ever make me happy is your perpetual unhappiness.

Have you actually studied the facts?
I haven't either, but every so often I feel an urgent need to give unsolicited advice about subjects on which I have no knowledge.

Let me wipe that brown spot off your nose for you.
I will never be as smart or ambitious as you are. But now I feel better.

Stop being so impractical/unreasonable/silly.
I never get to have any fun so you shouldn't either.

It's better to work smart, not hard.
Stop making me look bad by working.

That could be dangerous.
I am a coward.

That will never happen.
I am a big bully, and I will do everything in my power to prevent you from being treated fairly.

Does this new rule/procedure/law pertain to everyone?
I think I'm better than the rest of you and should be allowed to continue to act as if I'm the only important person on earth.

That's not my job.
I don't know how to do that, no one is making me do that, and it is my pleasure to annoy you with that fact on a daily basis.

Is that really what you made for dinner?
I'm really looking forward to drinking all my meals through a straw until my broken jaw heals.

We can't do that.
I don't feel like doing that, and I plan to die alone.

We can't afford that.
I am mean and stingy, and I plan to die alone.

Did you come up with that all by yourself?
I've never felt the need to develop a sense of humor.

I'm not sure I can trust you.
I've been stealing from/cheating on/lying to you since the day we met

Did I ask for your opinion?
Please don't distract me. I'm lucky to be able to put my shoes on the right feet in the morning.

You're kind of high maintenance, aren't you?
I have a really small penis.

Hmmm.....maybe I do have way too much time on my hands.....