4 Factors that Impact Your Chances to Adopt a Child

Most, if not all, adoptive parents feel that they have to sell themselves to the adoption agency they're working with and to the birthmothers who will be looking over their profiles. And when you sell yourself, you try to put everything in a good light. You and your spouse met at a party in college, for example, and it was love at first sight. No one has to know that it was at a frat house and you were so drunk that you proposed on the spot. Or the decision you most regret? Forget about the belly button piercing that got infected and focus on the butterfly tattoo permanently imprinted on your backside.

Some things, however, aren't so easy to polish over. These are the big issues: the health issues, the legal issues, and the financial issues that can impact your chances to adopt.

You may think that the best way to deal with these topics is to just not bring them up, and if they come up, to evade the truth or down play the seriousness of the situation. Do not do this.

These situations do not necessarily have to ruin your chances to adopt. In fact, they often don't. The key is to be openly and honestly talk about the challenges you face (or faced) or the mistakes you made, and to thoughtfully discuss how these things affected you as a person and how they may affect you as a potential parent.

1. Legal issues:

A routine part of the home study process is checking your criminal history. Some agencies also check Child Protective Services (CPS) and sexual perpetrator records. If, during this check, your social worker discovers something on your record, he'll discuss these issues at length with you.

Obviously, if your name appears on a sexual perpetrators list or you recently robbed the local 7 Eleven at gunpoint, you won't be approved to adopt. However, if you shoplifted a stick of gum when you were 14, you're probably safe. Other situations aren't so easy to determine.

Suppose, for example, that you were arrested for driving under the influence of alcohol seven years ago. Seven years is a long time, but the seriousness of the event warrants attention. So your social worker will probably want to know all the details about the incident, the charges filed, your punishment, your current drinking habits, and so on. If you were ordered to complete alcohol rehabilitation treatment programs, he may also require a report from the treatment facility. Your spouse may be interviewed specifically about these issues, as well.

You may be a pillar of the community now, but if your history includes a conviction of a felony such as a drug possession and dealing, or stealing a car, for example, adopting will be much more difficult for you.

• First, the BCIS won't approve anyone with a felony conviction to adopt internationally. Although some U.S. agencies may not reject your application out of hand, most agencies will turn you away primarily because of the liability issue.

• They don't want to risk putting a child in a situation that, because of past action, many would deem risky. What if you went back to your "old ways," the thinking goes, and your child were injured, neglected, or abused as a result?

Although adopting may not be impossible for you, be aware that you face an uphill battle.

2. Health issues:

If you have a disability or a chronic condition or illness, you may be worried that you won't be approved to adopt. But you may have nothing to fear.

Chronic conditions

Conditions such as high blood pressure, diabetes, and so on are often present in adoptive homes. Most agencies just want to be assured that the condition is being managed and that the child will be well taken care of and provided for.

Life-threatening conditions and illnesses

Although some agencies reject applicants who have life-threatening conditions, such as cancer and heart problems, other agencies evaluate these situations case by case. (Although it's controversial, some agencies consider obesity to be a life-threatening condition and have specific policies regarding significantly overweight individuals.) Even if you have a severe illness, such as multiple sclerosis or cystic fibrosis, many agencies will approve you for adoption, but they'll require that the affliction be disclosed to the birthparents and that the specialist who's treating you provide a statement as to your treatment. Obviously, if you have a condition that is potentially terminal, you'll be required to have a plan for the worst-case scenario.

Disabilities

A disability that doesn't make it impossible for you to parent a child shouldn't be a factor in finding an agency. The Americans with Disabilities Act makes discriminating against those with disabilities illegal, and this law applies to all government agencies, as well as private agencies - like adoption agencies - that provide a public service.

Mental illnesses

If you suffer from a mental illness, you may encounter some difficulties in get ting approved for adoption, depending on the type of mental illness you have. Illnesses such as schizophrenia or bipolar disorder, for example, can have a significant impact on a child's life. As a result, people who suffer from those conditions may have a hard time being approved for adoption. Mud depression that you can control through medication, on the other hand, generally doesn't negatively impact your chances.

Addictions

Obviously, if you have an addiction problem now, you shouldn't be considering adoption. Past problems with alcoholism or drug addiction may or may not be a deterrent, depending on what has happened since you broke your addiction and how long you've been clean. Your social worker will definitely want to discuss your plan for sobriety, the length of your sobriety, your involvement with Alcoholics Anonymous or other alcohol or drug rehabilitation programs, and more. She'll consider all these factors when making a determination.

3. Financial issues:

For the most part, adoption agencies do not expect you to be rich. However, they do expect that you will be able to afford basic necessities for your adopted child such as something to eat, something to wear and of course, health care.

In order to show the adoption agency that you can financially afford to give your adopted child what he or she needs, you will have to present financial records that reveal your income, liabilities and any savings or investments you may have.

You may be declined for an adopted child if you have been bankrupt before, have a large amount of debt and have a history of not paying child support on time.

4. Another issue that may be a factor when adopting a child: Your Age

Your age may be a factor in your adoption. Some adoption agencies have age restrictions, requiring, for example, that applicants be at least 25 and no older than 45. Other agencies may use a formula in which they average the couples' individual ages together, and this average age can't exceed a certain number of years. Other agencies may have no specific requirements, evaluating each situation case by case, or have age restrictions for healthy infants and be less restrictive for their special-needs children.

Be aware that age can also play a role if you're adopting internationally. Until recently, China, for example, preferred couples to be over the age of 35; now it accepts applicants who are 30. In addition, the U.S. Bureau of Citizenship and Immigration Services (BCIS) require that people adopting internationally be at least 25 years old.

Age can also be a factor when a birthmother selects a family. Although many birth moms look for young couples, others may prefer someone older and more settled. Specifically, someone raised by grandparents may feel more comfortable with an older couple.