4 Things to Consider Before Dating a Nieghbor

Next to managing relations with in-laws, relationships with neighbors are the most sensitive and difficult to manage at times. Whether you live in a suburban neighborhood of detached houses, an apartment house, or a trailer park, there's always the potential for otherwise good relations to become abraded. That being understood, what if you're single, you have single neighbors of the opposite gender, and you're considering dating? Is this a good idea?

It's not easy to answer this question with a "yes" or "no." There are, however, a number of important things that should be considered before you take the plunge.

1. Are there any outstanding irritants involving the neighbor? Does he or she have a dog that barks at odd hours of the night, keeping you awake? If you have unresolved issues, they could come up at an inconvenient moment in the dating relationship. They will certainly always be lurking in the background.
2. What is his or her relationship with other neighbors? You certainly don't want to get yourself embroiled in a "Hatfield-McCoy" feud situation. If your potential dating partner is in the middle of some kind of dispute with other neighbors, you could find yourself involved, and not even know what started it. If the price of a date is bad relationships with your other neighbors, you need to ask yourself if it is really worth it.
3. How strong are your feelings? This is related to number 2. If you feel strongly enough about this person, then perhaps getting involved in the dispute on the side of your beloved is just what you want to do. Of course, if the feelings are all that strong, then maybe you should be thinking of something more permanent than dating.
4. How much do you value your privacy? Dating develops a situation of intimacy, that when it also involves someone who lives very close by, can intrude on your private moments. Will this be a one-person-only dating relationship, or will you be dating others? How will you manage keeping multiple dates separate when one of them lives right nearby? If you like to keep your life compartmented, the last thing you want to do is get into a dating relationship with someone who can look at you over the back fence or through the peep hole of an apartment door.

You have probably figured by now that I think dating a neighbor is not a good idea. In some ways, it's like dating colleagues at work. There's nothing intrinsically wrong with it, but that doesn't always make it a good idea. Like carpentry, before dating a neighbor, measure twice, cut once.