4 Tips to Deal with Your Fears

Fear is everywhere these days from the media, the politicians, to the people we interact with daily. Fear is a learned behavior. We are not born with fear. From what we see as our failures, we create these fears. Yet these" failures" are actually learning skills for our life's development. However, most seem to view them as failures, hence, creating fears in their lives. Franklin D. Roosevelt said it best, "There is nothing to fear, but fear itself". However, how many people really believe that?

There are two types of fear, good fear and bad fear. Good fear has to do with protecting yourself or someone from harm. Bad fear is what will keep you from obtaining your objectives in life; what holds you back in life. Only those that have work on their fears understand how it can control you and your decisions in life.

Think of Fear as a wall and it keeps you from enjoying your life. The mortar between the bricks is "doubt". In order to break your fears you need to chip away that mortar to break down your fears. Personally, I have gone through all sorts of fears in my life. What makes me different from the "norm" is I refuse to allow fear in my life. I have made my choice not to let fear control me no longer. The way I work through my fears is based on my positive views in life. From the moment I wake up to the moment till I go to sleep, I try to think things in a positive manner. Most times I am successful keeping a positive frame of mind. And when I just can't feel as positive like I would want, I will go to my "happy place". No, I'm not talking about the bottle of wine. Although that may be tempting, however, I'll meditate and quiet my thoughts. See, in order to conquer fear, you have to turn your thoughts to positive energy and focus on things that make you feel happy. The more you focus on those positive emotions; there will be less room for the negative (fear) emotions to enter into your head. It's a conditioning that everyone can do. However, most people do not. Here are ways that will help you conquer your fears:

1. Identify what the fear is. Are you living pay check to pay check? Are you losing your home to foreclosure? Those are easily identified fears. However, there are times we are afraid of something that we just can't indentify it. This is where meditating can help you. We live such busy lives; we sometimes don't take the time out to "think". We allow our emotional nature to overtake our intellectual nature; the heart controlling the mind!

2. Now, that you identified the fear. Express your feelings about the fear. Talk to family or friends. Find a support group to help you work through your thoughts. I recall the song "People who need People" coming to mind. When you know you have someone to talk to, you feel a connection that "it's ok to have this feeling". Your problem may not be resolved yet, however it will chip away more of the mortar (doubt) of the wall (fear).

3. Think about how and when your fear began. You may be realizing you have condition yourself all your life to feel this way. With that said; you might also realize how much time you are wasting by living in that fear, which you could be enjoying.

4. Work out the solution by taking whatever action is necessary. Recognize that worrying about something won't change the situation. You need to take control of that fear and do something about it. Every day, start the day out with positive affirmations but only for that day. You don't want to expect too much at once. When you wake up, perhaps in the shower, you can say something like "for today only, I will not worry because I am taking control of my fear".

I'm no psychologist but I am someone who has had a lot thrown at her. I do know it is easy to give into fear. And it takes courage to overcome those obstacles or hardships in life. However, I have l also learned that there is nothing more rewarding to look back and realized how far you came ; and there is always someone worse off than you. I leave you with a quote a day to ponder about fear:

Quote:

"He has not learned the lesson of life who does not every day surmount a fear. "

Author: Emerson, Ralph Waldo

Quote:

"Fear always springs from ignorance. "

Author: Emerson, Ralph Waldo

Quote:

"There is no terror in a bang, only in the anticipation of it. "

Author: Hitchcock, Alfred

Quote:

"Under the influence of fear, which always leads men to take a pessimistic view of things, they magnified their enemies' resources, and minimized their own. "

Author: Livius (Livy), Titus

Quote:

"I am fearful when I see people subsituting fear for reason."

Authors: North, Edmund H.; Wise, Robert

Quote:

"Quite an experience to live in fear, isn't it? That's what it is to be a slave. "

Authors: Peoples, David Webb; Scott, Ridley

Quote:

"There is no news in fear but in the end it's fear that drowns you. "

Author: Sexton, Anne

Quote:

"A dog in desperation will leap over a wall. "

Attribution: Chinese proverb

Quote:

"Face the fearful with no fear, and its fearfulness disappears. "

Attribution: Chinese proverb

Quote:

"If one does not dare to enter the tiger's lair, how can one obtain the tiger's cubs? "

Attribution: Chinese proverb

Quote:

"A new-born calf fears not the tiger. "

Attribution: Chinese proverb