4 Wilmington, North Carolina Area Mortuaries: A Review

My Dad passed away recently after a long battle with Parkinson's Disease and Lewy Bodies Disease. Hospice was a great help and comfort to him and also to us, because they helped us to get prepared for his passing.

The day before he died, we called Atlantic Cremation in Wilmington, NC and made an appointment to discuss potential arrangements.

The first red flag was when the funeral director, Seth Martin, called me back to see if he could change the appointment time because he had another family coming in. The second red flag was when we arrived and the place looked like the inside of a used car lot.

Mr. Martin met with us and showed no compassion whatsoever. This was a business arrangement. He might as well have been selling us a used car! But at the time, Mom and I were in shock - Dad was dying much more quickly than we'd expected, and we needed to do *something*. So, we agreed to a price for certain services - specifically, transportation of the body and cremation. Mr. Martin told us that we would have to file the death certificate and get Dad's burial flag from the VA ourselves. Not knowing better, we assumed that this was "the way things work".

Dad was signed up in the Brain Donor program through the University of Miami for Parkinson's research. After we got home, we called the Donor program to tell them of the arrangements we'd made. We had thought that their doctors would come to our funeral home to take the samples they needed. However, the program had changed and they now needed to take Dad's body to Durham for the procedure. They set up some transportation plans, and I called Mr. Martin at Atlantic Cremation back to inform him of what would be happening.

Mr. Martin was very angry - unaccountably so - and informed me that our plans were not acceptable and that they would provide the transportation up to Duke Hospital. He took it upon himself to call the Donor program and inform them of this as well. The Donor program called us back, most upset. After discussing the matter with the Director, she decided that it would be best for their people to pick up Dad's body and do the transportation - less chance for mistakes with the valuable tissue involved. By this point, Mom and I were pretty stressed out about what would be happening.

The very next morning, Dad passed away. We immediately called the Donor program and they arranged for Hardee Mortuary to pick up Dad's body and transport him to Duke Hospital and then back to Atlantic. The men from Hardee were so professional and so compassionate! Words cannot express our gratitude to them. They even arranged Dad's body on their stretcher and allowed Mom and I to have one final goodbye.

We then had our hospice volunteer call Mr. Martin at Atlantic to tell him that Hardee Mortuary would be returning the body later that afternoon. Mom and I were not privy to the entire conversation, and Carol has spared us the details, but we could tell that she was not pleased with Mr. Martin.

Shortly after that, I had another conversation with him - this time, about money. Since our price was for transportation and cremation, and they had not done any of the transportation, we were not willing to pay that fee (especially since Mr. Martin had taken great pains to be difficult). Mr. Martin blew a gasket. He was snide and rude. First he informed me that the amount he'd given us was a "package price". Then he volunteered to "knock a few dollars off". Then he informed me that since this was a package price and we hadn't used the transportation, by rights we should be paying full price for the cremation - $1250!

I said, "Why - today of all days - are we having this conversation?" My impression of funeral and mortuary services had been that caring, supportive staff help families through this time of grief - not make life more complicated and difficult!

I then called Rick Andrews of Andrews Mortuary, the parent company of Atlantic Cremation. Since he is technically Mr. Martin's boss, I thought I would be appealing to a professional. I told Mr. Andrews what Mr. Martin said. Mr. Andrews then called me a liar - "Mr. Martin would never treat you that way!" Over the course of the conversation, Mr. Andrews affirmed everything that Mr. Martin had said, and then accused me of being "most unreasonable". I told him that I would be reporting his companies to the Attorney General and to whomever regulates funeral homes in North Carolina, and he arrogantly urged me to do so. At that point, I gave up.

With both Mr. Martin of Atlantic Cremation and Mr. Andrews of Andrews Mortuary, I really had the impression that they could care less about us, about my Dad, or about the problems they had created. It seemed like we were talking with the garage about a car that had broken down, and they were arguing with us about which tow truck company to use and how much to pay them! Zero caring and zero compassion - it was all about how much money they could extort from my Mom in her time of need.

In the meantime, I called the Coast Guard regarding where to get Dad's veteran's flag. We weren't sure where to begin so I progressed from the local LORAN station to the MSO in Wilmington, and finally to Decedent Services in Virginia. I got a puzzled call back from an officer there, saying that he'd never heard of a family having to get their own burial flag. The funeral home ALWAYS takes care of this.

Since the people from Hardee Mortuary were so pleasant and helpful, I called them back. I knew that they did not do cremations, but hoped they could either point me in the right direction or give me a reality check. If an unrelated mortuary felt that Mr. Martin and Mr. Andrews were being reasonable, then I could chalk it up to my sensitivity at this difficult time. Mr. Hardee was sweet, gentle, and compassionate. He referred me to two other local mortuaries who perform cremations.

Mr. Hardee also called us back a couple of hours later, just to make sure we'd found someone who was able to help us. Remember, his company does not do cremations - he had absolutely no financial motivation, and no way to get our business at that point - but in spite of that, he cared for my family. He even told me to give my Mom a hug! We are so impressed by Hardee Mortuary that we will recommend them to anyone needing burial services!

I quite literally flipped a coin between the two numbers that Mr. Hardee gave me, and called Wilmington Burial and Cremation. Mr. Doug Bevell, one of the owners, is the epitome of "Southern Gentleman" - I told him of our troubles, and he came to our rescue. He offered to come to Mom's home that afternoon and help us set things up. When he arrived, we discovered the caring and compassion that had been so sadly lacking at Atlantic Cremation. Not only did we not have to pay for transportation, Mr. Bevell offered several options to customize things. All of their services are well thought out and designed to bring comfort to the family.

Mr. Bevell offered, at no charge, to file the death certificate and get Dad's flag. He wrote a lovely obituary which he filed, free of charge, with both local and out-of-town newspapers. We only had to pay the newspaper fees. (Atlantic Cremation had wanted us to pay a $35 "fee" for filing out of town obituaries!) He also made us (at no charge) seven laminated copies of Dad's obituary, complete with picture, and the loveliest memorial candle, with Dad's picture and a beautiful poem. His thoughtfulness - which he says is extended to all of their families - touched us so much we all cried. What a contrast between Wilmington Burial and Cremation and Atlantic!

Because Mr. Bevell was so nice, we elected to purchase an urn, guestbook, and thank-you cards from Wilmington Burial and Cremation. These had been offered by Atlantic, but their selection was limited and very pricey. Our initial plan was to purchase the guestbook and thank-you's from HallMark and a simple pottery container. However, we changed plans and decided to give Doug our business, simply because he was so compassionate and helpful! Wilmington Burial and Cremation offers an extended selection of urns, ranging from a "Chock Full of Nuts" coffee can (which we found hilarious!) on up to gold-plated urns costing thousands of dollars. We were amazed that Doug never tried to push us toward something more expensive. He answered our many questions and helped us select an urn that is beautiful, suits Dad perfectly, and fit our budget as well.

Mr. Bevell and his staff were such a comfort to us through the whole process. We highly recommend them to anyone in the Wilmington area needing burial or cremation services. We also highly recommend Hardee Mortuary.

We would not send a parakeet for cremation services at Atlantic or Andrews. If you cared about your loved one, and want compassionate, caring service, call Wilmington Burial and Cremation or Hardee Mortuary instead!

CONTACTS AND SCORE CARD

• Wilmington Burial and Cremation receives an A+++!! Their phone number is 910-791-9099 and address is 1535 S. 41st Street, Wilmington, North Carolina.
• Hardee Mortuary also receives an A+++ from us! Their phone number is 910-409-4450 or call toll free 888-909-4450. They are located at 209 Marsh Oaks Drive in Wilmington NC.
• Andrews Mortuary receives an F-- from our family. Mr. Andrews demonstrated a profound lack of caring and concern and called me a liar and said I was unreasonable. I asked the other funeral homes for a reality check, and neither felt that I was in any way out of line or unreasonable.
• Atlantic Cremation receives an F--- from us. Is it possible to give a lower grade? I look forward to talking to the Attorney General and funeral home licensing agencies about these people. They need to not be in the funeral business. Used cars... perhaps.

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The author of this article is in no way connected to any of the above-listed funeral homes. None of these companies has offered any compensation for this article or asked for this article to be written. This is a completely unbiased, first-hand report of how four Wilmington-area mortuaries treated the author and her family in a time of loss and grief.