5 Boundaries to Never Cross with Your Spouse

Boundaries are those rules that keep us from hurting ourselves as well as others. I thought I would share with you not the more common boundaries that should never be crossed in a marriage, such as not cheating, or physically or verbally abusing your spouse, but a few boundaries we may not think about that should also never be crossed!

Trashing Your Spouse's Family-

So many couples do this without a thought, without realizing they are not only seriously hurting their spouse's feelings, but their relationship and marriage as well. Because we have started a new family with our spouse sometimes we forget that before you, they had what I call their first family. Good or bad our first family is where we came from, and it deeply hurts us to hear anything negative about them, even if it's true. After all we aren't we in a way being insulted too? The point is the first family of a spouse should be off limits to negative comments. No matter what we need to respect that this is the family who raised the one we love.

Picking on Your Spouse's Children-

With all the re-marriages nowadays there are so many blended families. This means you are raising children that may or may not be legally yours. This is a big adjustment for the children, as well as the spouses. Then the day comes when you have to discipline your step-children. This is a hard one, as there is a very fine line between disciplining them and picking on them, especially in the eyes of the natural parent. The best thing a step-parent can ever do for themselves is to sit down and set clear rules that all the kids must follow, supported by both parents. Otherwise, you may be risking that your spouse sees you ask picking on their child. This of course is something that should never, ever be done. Unfortunately, it happens more than we would like to think. This is the biggest No-No in step-parenting, never, ever, pick on your spouse's child, or you may just fine out who comes first. A little hint, it won't be you. Most times a parent will side with their child against the step-parent!

Bringing up Past Loves-

This situation can get a couple fighting quicker, than a match starts a forest fire. Never bring up your spouse's old flames in order to hurt, belittle, or shame your spouse. What's in the past, should stay in the past. Let's face it if you have to sink that low, you must be out of ammunition. There's no reason to ever make a spouse feel bad about the relationships they had with others in the past. This is a boundary that should never be crossed. Remember in the marriage vows it says from this day forward, there's no reason to go back

Not Giving Your Spouse Alone Time-

Just because we love someone does not mean we own them, their life, or their time. Spouses should spend time together because they want to, just as they should be able to have time to themselves. Yes, believe it or not it's very common for one spouse to monopolize the time of the other spouse. No matter how much we love someone alone time is essential. We are individuals as well as a part of a couple. It could be something as little as a bubble bath without your spouse constantly coming in to the bathroom wondering if you are finished yet. I'm not talking separate vacations here. I'm not really a big believer in those. With money as tight as it is these days you're lucky if you can afford one, no less two separate ones. Human beings need time to themselves, even if it's a few hours a week. As a spouse we should never seek to possess our loved ones. They have a right to their private boundaries, just as we do.

Pressure to Have Sex-

This is a biggie. We are crossing very big boundaries when we expect our spouse to have sex when they really don't want to, and we put on the pressure so they will. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with trying to get them in the mood, what I'm talking about is along the lines of almost forcing them, well at least through coercion. This does happen in a lot of marriages. One spouse feels it is the duty of the other to submit to sex, regardless of how they feel. But if you do this what are you really gaining? Well, we know what the obvious is, but your losing much more. Your losing the respect of your spouse. Everyone wants to feel like their spouse respects them enough to hear the word NO, and take it in stride. That's called love and acceptance. So, the next time you're thinking about crossing that boundary from a request to a demand, you may just want to think twice!

There you have it, five boundaries that should never be crossed with your spouse. These really are easy to keep, all you have to do is remember, this is the person you love, and vowed to spend the rest of your life with!