5 Common Negotiation Mistakes and How to Avoid Them

Barney: Of course you have a sense of humor. Everyone thinks they do, even people who don't.

~ My Blue Heaven (Movie - 1990)

Just like the characters in the above mentioned motion picture, all people think that hey have great, if not superb, negotiation skills. The truth, however, is much grimmer. Most people do not know the difference between negotiating a car purchase from buying a cup of coffee in a local Starbucks. Everyone, including great negotiators, make mistakes. Below are 10 common mistakes made during negotiation and simple ways to try and avoid them.

1. There is not a universal reason as to why most people want to rush through a negotiation. Perhaps it is the tension which builds up during a negotiation or maybe just a timing issue. Of course I know that just like removing a bend-aid we all want to go through unpleasant situations as fast as possible and get it over with. However, in doing so, most of the decisions would be made on a subconscious level and in haste without thorough thinking. One easy way to avoid this problem is to always take a break before any major decision. Even though the other side might push you to make a quick leap, be sure to slow things down and think things through. Don't rush!
2. Fixating your attention on one single issue will create imbalance in negotiation and failure to realize all that you can. It can also lead to buyer's remorse due to bad decisions made in the process. Even in single-item negotiations such as house purchases, the real decision-making often comes down to minor issues such as the size of the garage or the shape of the kitchen. Such issues may also become personal and interfere with the item at hand. When negotiating, be sure to step back and reevaluate the thing which seem particularly important to you as well as what you should, rather than what you are, prepared to give up for them. Be sure to also watch out for the items of interest you might be ignoring.
3. Knowledge is power. In a negotiation, when you are talking you are providing your opposition with useful information, which later could be used against you. Be sure to say just enough and be ready for long pauses before you hear others answer. You can start by listening to your self and thinking about what is it that you want to achieve. Then think about how what you are saying is interpreted by the other side. Also, watch out for set-up questions which do not really have information, but are just ways to drag more data from you. Mums the word.
4. "This is my final offer!" If during a negotiation I took this statement for what it was meant to be instead of what it was, I would not be very successful. When the other person states their position, regardless of what it may be, it is easy to assume that they are telling you the truth, rather than trying to intimidate you. When the other person says that they want something, when they say that there is no alternative and that something is not negotiable, do not accept this position as fixed and unchangeable. Negotiation positions are like icebergs, 2/3 is under water. Find the real underlying interest and explore it for your advantage. Of course, the same thing applies to you: if you are stuck on a position, get up to find your own real interests and then look for ways to satisfy them.
5. Out of 100% of people who go to curt to win their case 50% will lose. In a negotiation, approaching this process as a win-lose situation will result in you losing, if not actually then mentally. Sometimes winning your negotiation may damage relationships beyond repair. Negotiation, for the most part, is not a life-or-death situation, rather than thinking of it as a win-lose think of it as win-win. Try to think of a way to expend the pie instead of dividing the smaller pieces. Come up with ways to make both of you happy.

   I hope that these simple techniques will help your negotiation needs. Remember, don't litigate mediate!

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