5 Essential Tools to Boost Personal Confidence and Popularity

1. Self Encouragement: Talking to others and yourself, particularly as you look in the mirror every morning, is one of the most effective ways of boosting your confidence, especially to avoid negativity around you. Substituting anxiety with something positive like, 'What a handsome gal/dude I am. I will just go out there and show them!' (said with the biggest smile of appreciation too!) might sound very strange on the first morning you try it. But you'd be surprised how it really affirms self-love and sets you up for the day to beat the brickbats you will definitely get from elsewhere, including those from your loved ones. If you don't appreciate yourself fully, how can you expect others to do it?

2. Aim for Excellence, not Perfection: Another approach is that when you catch yourself expecting perfection, remind yourself that it is infinitely more rewarding to do something well than to do it perfectly because, in that way, you can always improve on it another time. This allows you to accept yourself while constantly striving to improve your skills and fulfil your potential. Above all, reward and praise yourself when you have done well. If no one ever does that, including yourself, you will never feel valued. Use positive affirmations and quotes from others to uplift you and increase your determination. Read them every day or when you are feeling negative and need inspiration.

3. Use Inspiring Quotations: No point in re-inventing the wheel. Others have been through what you are experiencing and there is much they have to offer from which to learn and be inspired. Pin up some quotes on your walls to remind you daily of what you need to do and to help keep your thoughts positive. Make up your own quotes around the things you desire, and how you wish to be, and keep saying them over and over. I love to read personal quotes and hear about the experiences of other successful or confident people, especially those who have struggled in their lives. They always give me a boost when I am feeling low and remind me that I am not an island. The all-time favourites which guide my life are four powerful statements.

Some Motivational Quotes
The first one was said by Denzel Washington in a film: "A person wrapped up in himself makes a very small package." It reminds me just how insignificant we are when we do not reach out to others in any positive way or become too introspective and individual. For example, there are many affluent people who needlessly worry about their money. They fret about who will rob them of it, whether the government will get it, or what will happen to it when they are gone. Yet they never use any of it to enjoy themselves or bring some cheer to others. In fact, they are the ones most likely to say how they 'cannot afford it' in answer to spending any money or even making a long distance phone call. But, if we give nothing to others, we have nothing to get. Our greatest happiness, and self-power, comes not from a focus on our individual needs, but in reaching out to others in some meaningful and unexpected way.

The second quote from Robert F Kennedy reflects what I have tried to do with my own life: "Few will have the greatness to bend history itself; but each of us can work to change a small portion of events, and in the total of all those acts, will be written the history of this generation." That's how I perceive my annual awards and the books that I write: each making a small impact on other people's lives which, hopefully, will also affect the whole through their efforts.

The next quote, from Tom Hopkins, is indicative of the way I view my life and aspirations: "I am not judged by the number of times I fail, but by the number of times I succeed. And the number of times I succeed is in direct proportion to the number of times I can fail and keep on trying." That's why I try to be very determined and persistent because the law of averages says that one day I will win out.

The Value of Having Firm Principles

The final quote sums up my principles and keeps my faith firm and unwavering. It was said by Emiliano Zapata, the Mexican revolutionary: "It is better to die on your feet than to live on your knees." Respect to that! My principles cannot be bought in any way, no matter how obstinate that might seem to others, but at least they keep me well anchored and mindful of my goals.

4. Practise Kindness, Love and Compassion: This makes you far more positive, stops you being judgmental and self-focused. Kindness and compassion also boost the faith of others in themselves while increasing your personal power and esteem in their eyes. You'll also get a wonderful feeling of appreciation and self-worth.

5. Above all, Learn to Forgive: Even if you are not able to forget, it means you accept your own fallibility and the need to be given more chances, instead of being condemned (or condemning someone else) for one act in a long life. You are then able to move on feeling even more positive about yourself and also being more generous to others.