5 Great Dating Tips for Shy Men
Tips to Help You Meet the Girl of Your Dreams
1. Don't try to meet women in bars. The most important tip I think there is. Just like women don't usually want to meet a potential boyfriend in a bar, I wouldn't recommend trying to meet a potential girlfriend in one. Bars are loud, smoky and usually full of people who are quite drunk. You're not only usually going to find more of a Party Girl in a bar, but you're also likely to be disappointed when you meet her in the daylight. In the bar, in her drunken stupor, you may have looked like somebody she wanted to get to know better. In daylight, things and people can look very different. There's no point setting yourself up for disappointment before you even start so - avoid the bars!
2. Join a few clubs. At first, don't even worry about trying to find a girlfriend. Just sign up for a few clubs or classes that YOU might find interesting. Walking clubs, movie nights, political organizations, dog walking groups, sports clubs, French classes, cooking classes, computer classes - they're all places where, most importantly, you'll probably make some new friends. They're also places where you might meet an interesting woman and surprise surprise, when you do, she'll probably have something in common with you.
3.When you do meet a woman you like, don't think about her as a possible girlfriend. The secret to a great relationship is to be the best of friends. If you meet a woman you think you might like, get to know her first. Put it out of your head that she might be a potential girlfriend or wife. Instead, learn more about her, enjoy her company and have fun.
When you do this, the woman is less uncomfortable or threatened and she'll let her guard down, and you won't be worrying about trying to impress. That way, you'll both be having a great time before you know it and who knows what might happen?
4. Be liked for yourself. Don't try to be somebody you're not. Don't pretend you're a bad boy, a jerk, a ladies man etc. if you're not. Women almost always hate that but, even if she likes it, who wants someone to fall in love with somebody they're not anyway? You can't keep it up for the rest of your life, so why even start?
Be yourself. Relax. Talk about the things you're interested in, ask her questions about herself, find something you both have in common and discuss it. Then, even if she's not 'The One', you still might have found someone you can talk to and she could turn out to be a great friend.
5. Just do it! When you meet a woman and you feel that overpowering fear coming on and you just know you're not going to have the courage to talk to her. Just do it. Forget the fear, take a deep breath, walk right over and say "Hi". Women usually like the confident, strong, outgoing guys. But here's a secret - MOST GUYS ARE FAKING IT. So, you fake it too. Take a deep breath, relax your body, chin up, shoulders back and walk over there like you own the room. By the time you get there, she'll think you do, and she'll already be interested. This is what guys who are successful with women do. They all started by faking it and eventually they weren't even faking it anymore.
With these 5 quick tips, you too can meet some great women and can pluck up the courage to talk to any woman. There are women everywhere. Make it a point every day to talk to at least three women you don't know, even if it's just the woman behind the drycleaner's counter. Before you know it, you'll be just as relaxed as the next guy and having fun while you're at it. Good luck!
Published by Cassandra James
I'm a British-American writer currently living in Bangkok, Thailand. I've been writing for Associated Content since 2007 and was named one of AC's Top 100 Writers for 2008, 2009 and 2010. I primarily write a... View profile
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- Join a club or take classes, great places to meet women you'll have something in common with.
- Don't try to meet women in bars, they're not places for the start of a meaningful relationship.
16 Comments
Post a CommentJust where exactly do you live and where are these smokey bars you mention? For your information, smoking has been banned in bars for years. I suggest that you get your facts straight.
...only happens in the movies...namely the ones without explosions, guns, and kung-fu.
...woman is as clear-headed and mature as you are; if they all thought like this, a lot more guys would have serious, committed girlfriends and loving, dedicated wives, trust me.
Now for your point.
I DO agree to a point with point number 3, primarily because of common sense. As men, we would like to get to know a woman as much as possible before / while dating her, so we know what we're getting into at the very least. We don't want her life story, (Seriously, ladies. This annoys us. Write a book if it's that important. You may make some money from it.) but at the same time, we want a general idea of who she is mentally and emotionally, what she likes, favorite foods, movies, etc, and then MAYBE things can proceed on from there. I use the word "maybe," because I haven't discounted how fickle the hearts and horomones of BOTH genders can be. My conclusion, though, is that with my experience and the experiences of most men like myself, falling in love with your best female friend on
Mrs. James, Regarding Mike's comment, I'd have to agree to a degree with him, but at the same time with you. I'll start with his point. From my experience, as well as his, women who normally drop the f-bomb on us have NO intention at all of wanting to pursue romance at all. They normally do so to either assuage their own guilt, avoid accountability, delude themselves into thinking that they're sparing our feelings, and put us on the backburner permanently. Or, they just use the word as a "get away from this guy" free card usually because of their personailties. Then what do they do? Complain when Billy bad-ass the boyfriend decides to berate and dehumanize them, get out of the relationship, and wonder where the good men are. Meanwhile, we're left to shake our heads over such a repeated, lessonless phenomenon. Even though I realize that this can normally be taken on a case-by-case basis, it happens a lot more often than you think. This may be a bit of a shocker, but not every wo
Mike, well, you would be.......WRONG :) I was 'friends' with my fiance for two years before we started dating. So, yep. WRONG.
Tip 3 is bullshit -- once a girl views you as a "friend" your done -- that's all you will ever be to her and the relationship will never progress to romance.
im young but i am very shy to girls and sometimes i dont talk to them now those tips will help me feel better and i can talk to girls and maybe get a girlfriend
Those are pretty good tips. I'm a shy guy 19 ( good looking I guess) girls seem to get crushes on me I just don't know what to do; lately I've just put on a more confident and carefree attitude, and while this doesnt help me meet new people, it increases my social competence 3 fold.Confidence is key, so everyone says.
I am incredibly shy and just can't seem to meet anyone and so I find searching for articles online really helpful I only wish that the web had been around twenty years ago when I was much younger.
im so shy i cant even talk to girls. im 19 and ive never had a gf. the one time i thought a girl liked me, she was just playing me so when i told her i liked her she broke my heart