5 Inconvenient "Conveniences"

In this era of modern devices, I am supposed to save lots of time and headache by using the latest gadgets. They are, I am told, designed to simplify my life and make me more productive. While there are many items that do just that, there are five that always seem to do just the opposite. Here are the devices and why they are definitely not convenient.

5) Voicemail. It is great that somebody can leave me a message even if I am not around or talking on the phone with somebody, but I inevitably end up getting way too many messages from callers that I would have never picked up to talk to. From telemarketers to political ads, I routinely have to wade through a swamp of unwanted messages to find the one or two that I actually want to listen to.

4) Check engine light. If I ever commit the deadly sin of forgetting to tighten my gas cap the required number of clicks, this annoying little reminder inevitably appears. It would be one thing if it just came on for a few minutes to remind me to tighten it better the next time, but it stays on for weeks, only returning to normal after the requisite number of key turns.

3) Multifunction watch. I no longer wear one, since they come with massive instruction books that explain how to use four buttons to do everything from tell my heart rate to calculate tips. Unless I want to take a class on how to use one of these watches, I end up in some mode or using some feature I have no desire for. Telling the time is what I want a watch for, and I just rely on my cell phone for that anyways.

2) Cell phone. Great for telling time and making phone calls, these have now become major time drains. With the ability to go online, text, take pictures, and send images, they have turned a convenience into a nightmare. If it weren't for the prospect of being able to use one in the case of an emergency, I probably would not even carry one at all.

1) Voice recognition. Perhaps someday this will work the way it is supposed to, but for now it is still not ready for prime time. Whenever I have to use this in a phone conversation, it still has trouble figuring out if I said "yes" or "no". I would much rather just enter a number to indicate my response. When it tries to decipher something more complicated than a simple word, I end up repeating over and over what I said. I know it is a lot to ask, but it would be nice to talk to an actual person sometimes.

These are my five most inconvenient "conveniences". Hopefully there are enterprising people out there figuring out ways to make these things simpler even as I write this.