5 Major Life Changes After My Heart Attack

Most people experience some life changes when they turn thirty. Two weeks before my birthday, I was starting to experience some of them, good as well as bad. That is when the unthinkable happened. At work, I began having chest pain. After driving myself to the emergency room, it was confirmed that I was having a massive heart attack. After a week in the hospital and the insertion of a stint, I was sent home without realizing how much my life would change.

The first thing that was painfully obvious was the way I felt physically. I had always been extremely active, dancing and walking for miles on a daily basis. After that heart attack, walking across the room was difficult. I would get tired, short of breath, and dizzy. Things that I had once taken for granted were difficult or impossible. Any doctor will tell you that recovering from a heart attack takes time. What they don't tell you is how physically taxing it can be.

Speaking of doctors, that is another life change. Yearly physical examinations are a thing of the past. After a heart attack, it seems as if life becomes an endless cycle of appointments and prescription medications. Instead of taking a daily vitamin, I had to take medications for blood pressure, cholesterol, blood thinners, anti-platelet medications, pills for arrhythmia, and aspirin. All of this, in addition to constantly carrying a bottle of nitroglycerin tablets for the angina attacks that are now a daily occurrence.

Before the heart attack that changed my life, I brushed off everyday aches and pains. Now, every tweak or twinge, especially those on the left side of my body, sends me into a state of absolute panic. I am constantly aware of the beating of my heart and the blood flowing through my body. This awareness has caused anxiety attacks and a lot of sleepless nights. I am constantly afraid that the next attack of angina will actually be the heart attack that ends my life.

Thinking about my cardiac function, in addition to my reduced physical capacity and hand-fulls of pills that I had to take every day caused me to fall into a deep depression. I isolated myself from friends and family, preferring the solitude of my apartment. I felt as if my life was over, I felt cheated, and I felt sorry for myself. During this period of depression that lasted for two years, I would stop taking my medications and cancel appointments with my doctor. I think that I honestly wanted to die.

While I isolated myself, I relied completely on on-line communication. It was because of this that my life changed for the better. Late one nigh, I fell into a conversation with the man that would eventually be my husband. He did not care about the woman I was before my heart attack, he fell in love with the person that it caused me to become. For the first time since that painful moment that I had once decided had ended my life, I began to care about the future. I realized that I could still have a "normal" life.

I still take medications, go to countless doctors for countless tests, and function at a lower capacity than I once did. All of these things can still be depressing at times, but it makes me feel better to know that I am not alone.