5 Reasons to Arrive Late for Your Own Funeral: Elizabeth Taylor Did It, so Why Can't You?
Start 'Em Talking
If you enjoy arriving fashionably late because it starts people talking about you, then by all means ... show up late for your own funeral. There isn't that much for people to discuss as they wait for a funeral to start and they can only comment so many times on how nice you were before they run out of things to say. But, if the funeral was scheduled for 2:00p, it's already 2:10p and you're not there, the place will be buzzing with comments. All of them about you!
More Time to Fix That Hair
Really, no one wants to go to her own funeral with her hair looking a mess. Leaving late gives the mortician that extra fifteen minutes or so to freshen your makeup and touch up your hair. And for the guys, arriving late will allow for that fashionable 5 o'clock shadow to grow a little longer.
The Gang's All Here
A funeral is the place for family and friends to gather and pay their last respects to you, but it doesn't do any good for you to be on time and for several of them to arrive late. It would only be polite to arrive late at your own funeral in order to give the guests plenty of time to get there first.
Make a Grand Entrance
Is there anything worse than walking in-or in this case, being carried in-and no one even notices that you're there? After all, your funeral will be to honor you and although you may not be Elizabeth Taylor, guests should at least notice that you've arrived. In fact, they should notice in a big way, so go ahead and make that last, grand entrance.
Leave 'Em Laughing
There's an old adage for comedians that says, "Leave 'em laughing." Since we've all heard it said of someone else, "She's never on time ... she'd arrive late for her own funeral," this would be the chance to leave 'em laughing at your graveside service. If you're a person who's perpetually ... er ... fashionably late, the last laugh will be on you.
(Author's note: This tongue-in-cheek article was meant to be enjoyed in fun. No disrespect for Elizabeth Taylor or for any others who have passed on was intended.)
Other Humorous Articles by this Author
A 5K Mishap
Top Ten Funny New Year's Resolutions
Sources:
Embedded links as listed above.
Personal experience.
Published by Cindy Lynn - Featured Contributor in Lifestyle
A freelance author with numerous published stories/online articles, Cindy loves food, and enjoys collecting and trying new recipes. She also enjoys gardening--both vegetables and flowers (she completed cours... View profile
- Choosing to Have Your Loved One's Funeral at HomeIf your focus is celebrating your loved ones life in a home like setting, preferable your own home, then an at home funeral may be the right choice.
Running Late Again? Is it a Habit?At one time it might have been ok to be "fashionably late."
Is it Too Late?It's never too late to come to Jesus--- unless you're dead that is.- The Chatilion-DeMenil Mansion in St. Louis Missouri Stages a Victorian FuneralThe Chatilion-DeMenil has suffered from years of neglect. each year the mansion stages a Victorian funeral, but life may have run out for the old mansion....
- Can You Eat Sesame Seeds If You're Allergic to Nuts?Sesame seeds are hiding in all kinds of foods including baked goods and many vegetarian items. Should you avoid eating sesame seeds if you're allergic to nuts?
- 10 Simple Ways to Lower the Cost of a Funeral and Burial
- September 5th is Be Late for Something Day
- Three in the Morning and Late for Your Own Funeral
- Sermon Ideas for the Funeral of a Person Who Committed Suicide
- A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Funeral
- Best Reasons for Being Late to Work: 24 Percent Have Given False Reasons at One Ti...
- Roses for Less Money
4 Comments
Post a CommentTriple Nickel: Well, it seems our choices in life are to laugh or cry, and I'll take laughter any day. :) Thanks for stopping to comment; glad you enjoyed the article.
Lee: Thanks for stopping by. Glad you enjoyed it!
How funny. Loved it. Thanks for a great blog.
I enjoyed your humorous take.