5 Reasons Not to Accept a Guilt Gift from Your Man

You've been with your man for a while now and have come to accept that he isn't the gift-giving kind. You've learned to appreciate the "little things" that he does for you instead, like cracking stale jokes to cheer you up when you're in a bad mood, or doing handiwork whenever you need help with something around the house. Lately, however, he has been lavishly bestowing gifts upon you - the diamond stud earrings you always wanted but thought you'd never have, a dozen roses, or a cute and cuddly puppy to call your own. Could he be falling head-over-heels in love, or simply feeling guilty for a recent infraction? Beware, as a guilt gift should never be taken lightly! If you find out that your man has in fact done something wrong but you're still tempted to accept a guilt gift from him, don't beat yourself up. After all, you're only human! Plus, the idea of receiving a gift that is of value from a man that you love can sometimes overshadow basic principles. There are several circumstances, however, in which you should absolutely not accept his guilt gift - no matter how much your man (or the gift) means to you.

When the Gift is a Substitute for an Apology

If he can find his way to the jewelry store but can't find it within himself to say "I'm sorry" and really mean it, then the guilt gift is absolutely worthless to you. Granted, actions do tend to speak louder than words, but when he buys you a gift without openly admitting that he was wrong, that gift is serving merely to ease his own conscience. In his mind, his willingness to buy you a gift shows that he's not such a "bad guy" after all. He may very well be a good guy who just goofed up. But don't let him off the hook that easily!

When the Gift Comes After a Repeat Occurrence

You know the saying, "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice..." Well if you've caught him in the act once before and now he's doing it again, a pattern of behavior may be forming that you will want to address immediately. Accepting a guilt gift will only delay the process of uncovering the underlying issue.

When You Feel Bitter

You may resent your man for committing a wrongdoing and decide that he deserves to go broke buying you guilt gifts! Before you hand him your wish list and send him off to the mall, think about whether or not this will make you feel better and help renew your faith and trust in him. Will a shopping spree in your honor truly repair whatever damage has been done to your relationship? It might make you feel better temporarily, but after the novelty of these items wears off, you'll still have to deal with issues at hand.

When He Has Abused You

You should never accept a guilt gift from a man who has abused you in any way. If your man has physically or sexually abused you, toyed with your emotions or put you down with verbal insults, he needs professional help immediately. You may also need to speak to a counseling professional, to uncover why you are attracted to an abusive person and what steps you need to take in order to begin the healing process. By accepting gifts from this man, you will only be empowering him and endorsing this pattern of behavior. And the next time, the abuse may very well be worse.

When You Are Planning to Dump Him

"Thanks for the Benz, Chump!"

This statement has been uttered by at least one woman on Planet Earth as she accepted the keys to an expensive set of wheels from her newly appointed ex and drove off into the sunset. Your man may have messed up badly enough for you to want (and possibly need) to cut him loose. But this isn't the way to do it. Few men give gifts as part of a relationship severance package, so don't think he expects you to take the gift he spent his hard-earned money on and run with it. This could be grounds for revenge. If you know in your heart that it's time to get out of the relationship, refuse the gift and move on.

Gifts Don't Always Mean Guilt

In defense of the good guys out there, gifts don't always mean that a wrongdoing has been committed. Your man may simply want to do something out of the ordinary to put a smile on your face and show you how special you are to him. When given a gift, don't jump the gun and start making negative assumptions. You will also do well to ignore your girlfriends or coworkers when they ask, "What did he do?!" in an accusatory tone. They may just be envious of you for having a man who takes the time to do what theirs won't.