5 Secret Reasons Why Marriages Fail
Avoid These Common Mistakes and Pitfalls
1. Pre-Marital Behavior Can Lead to Marital Woes
The progressive way of thinking is that people should experience sex as a part of the single lifestyle before marriage. It's almost considered a part of growing up, and is often more of a problem for men than women. I have given reasons for this in my article, "Do Women Have as Strong of Sex Drives as Men?"
To make matters worse, people move in together and they also believe this is a wise move. The line of thinking is that they should "try things out before making a commitment" and they come up with other justifications.
I respectfully suggest that that the proper, traditional protocol is necessary for a marriage to have the best chances of success. When two virtuous people join themselves in marriage, it's different, and I'll leave it at that.
2. "Oh Say Can You See?" Disregard for the Marriage Vows
"Until death do us part" and the other serious promises answered with "I do" seem to be a dry recitation for many. How many people take this seriously as a vow before God with a commitment in their hearts? Has is it become like noise or listening to the national anthem before a game, without being patriotic?
3. "I Now Pronounce You Husband and Wife"
"Man and wife" has been replaced with the politically correct "husband and wife," by which liberals are appeased and their wrath is placated. The traditional vows that worked for centuries have been supplanted by modern ones, and this has had a horrible, detrimental result. The role of the husband as a loving, caring leader in the home has been changed to that of an "equal partner." Many marriages subsequently lack a real man and have failed as a consequence.
The absence of understanding and the rejection of traditional roles have brought about a state of confusion, a lack of direction and have contributed to many breakups. I'm certain the feminists will dispute this vehemently, but I assure you it's true.
4. "I Want to be Happy" is More Important than Commitment
I don't belong to a church, I rarely read the Bible and I seldom quote scriptures. I do, however, believe what it says:
"But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, causes her to become an adulteress, and anyone who marries the divorced woman commits adultery." Matthew 5:32
Many people have not taken note of this important teaching. They believe that the primary concern is to "be happy," and when problems arise, they might cheat, get a divorce or both. There is a big problem today with going from one partner to another, in an endless quest to find Mr. or Ms. Right and to "be happy."
Broken homes are often the result. We hear people talk about their "ex's," and this term has even become fashionable. In addition, step parents have become commonplace and children suffer because of their parents' lack of dedication.
5. Drive-Through Divorce Provides an Easy Fix
In our day and age, there are providers of the easy way out for all sorts of situations where exercising responsibility is the favorable alternative and the sensible course of action. Divorce attorneys have risen to the occasion, enabling people to "move on" on "go on with their lives," as if that's admirable. I would just about like to see divorce made illegal, except on the grounds of unfaithfulness as mentioned above. In any event, modifications are definitely in order.
Not long ago, we had bankruptcy reform because people were abusing the system, and this was also an easy, superficial solution for problems that people often created for themselves. I maintain that a similar situation exists regarding marriage and divorce.
I hope this brings about a deeper level of understanding and that we can once again have a high marriage success rate. Marriage and families have been the foundation of all strong nations, and their breakdown creates a negative, chaotic effect in society. I wish everyone the best in life.
Published by Marty K.
Involved in various businesses throughout life, including iron & metal, landscape, sales in companies and freelance, business support services. View profile
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- The divorce rate of today is extreme, compared to that of previous generations.
- Many people don't take the wedding vows seriously, or consider that they're for life.
- Broken homes and the sufferning children are often a sad result.
32 Comments
Post a CommentMarriage is a committment, but I believe it's a contract in a legal sense. If someone breaks the vows, then the legal recourse should be that the offending party gets nothing, in my opinion, and all of the assets should go to the faithful person.
I'm not marred but i need know
Is it marriage contract?
I have've been married for ten years now. We have four beautiful children. For many years, I have tried to make our marriage work. My husband is not pleased with me. No matter what I do it's not good enough for him. He doesn't think of me highly because I only have an A.A.S dgree. I never had a big career like him. He finished school and worked his way up to managment. However, I don't have access to "our' money. he says I don't know how to manage money or time. Yet I worked full time to help him finish college ( I am few years older than him) He gives me an allowence. and expects me to buy groceries and misc stuff. Yesterday, he told me to get a job if I am not happy with the way things are. How am I going to get a job with 4 children. when will I have the time to care for them, ie reading, going to the park, cooking, cleaning doing laundry, ironing, organizing. I do all this work at home. but my husband tells me I just sit home.... I don't want to ask him for money every week. I'm n
I agree, If a husband committes a crime the wife should be able to divorce him. Especially if he is abusive to her and their children.
I agree with the man and wife/husband and wife thing a little. I am a strong woman and wife, and I believe that the man should be the head of the household(or at least be made to feel that way). Everytime I see a husband emasculated by a domineering wife, I more often than not see the man straying and later divorcing. And no,I don't even go to church. However, I think if 2 people are truly serious about being married, I feel that it is nearly a prerequisite that they cohabitate, for a bit. It is the little things that make or break marriages, and it would be an awful thing to find out that one could not stomach their spouse's personal habits, until they are married.
I agree that many people view marriage and relationships in general from the happiness standpoint. However, I do not feel that legal divorces should be limited to cheating spouses. Women and Men with abusive spouses or those involved in criminal activities should also be able to obtain divorces for their own safety and well as for the safety of their children. It would be morally repugnant for a person to be forced to remain married to someone who physically or sexually abused them or their children simply because the abuser had never committed adultary.
How much I love you ridiculously ignorant christians....
I am a pastor at a very exquisite church, and many of you reading this retarded article on marriage have probably heard of me, or at least have read one of my books. This is the first time I have ever mentioned how I really feel about christians, but I have to let this out. The truth is, you are all (referring to the christian posters) ignorant little sheep, and it is just too easy to manipulate you into paying my paychecks.
All I do is promise that god will open out the windows of heaven and bless you abundantly, and you give me all your money hoping you will be blessed.
Do you realize if you just saved the money you tithe, you could be out of debt in less that a year???
There's this lady in the church who I feel bad for because I know she tithes almost her entire paycheck every 2 weeks consistently. I used to sometimes feel bad about that, but.... I am driving a brand new Lexus :)
That helps me sleep peaceful
I also agree with your points on gender equality by the way. As human beings, men and women deserve the same level of respect. However, it is FACT that there are roles, responsibilites and other things that men can do and women can't. It's the same the other way round, there are things men can't do and we can. I mean for God's sake, there are things ANIMALS can do and we can't.
I totally agree with your points on the ""I Want to be Happy" is More Important than Commitment" factor. I think many people divorce these days for completely pathetic reasons, and mostly just because they can't be bothered to work on a relationship that they haved VOWED to be in. However Marty K, what is your stance on spousal abuse? Surely the "I want to be happy, grant me a divorce" would be absolutely correct in this instance?
Again, some of you fail to understand the point. Men and women are equal in terms of importance, but not in terms of roles, like "two kings in Rome," where a man resigns to being the wimp of the household. By trying to be a "fair equal" to please liberals, it is sickening and marriages become like a ship without a captain (where all of the people aboard are "equals"). It is liberalism at its finest and I maintain it's one of the secret reasons a lot of marriages fail.
Again, however, I don't expect that a lot of people will understand this.