5 Serious Considerations Before Divorcing Your Spouse

Getting a divorce is a very devastating experience for all concerned. Even if both spouses want the divorce it's no picnic in the park. Let's face it a divorce not only effects the spouse involved, but it effects children, family members and yes, even friends. Let's take a look at five serious considerations you should look at before making that decision that affects so may.

The Children-

When a couple has children the very first consideration should always be the children. The loss of intact family can be earth shattering, and effect children for the rest of their lives. It can as well carry over inn to their eventual marriages. The perfect scenario would of course be never have children and get a divorce. However, we're not in Disneyland, we're in the real world. One must seriously ponder how the divorce will effect their specific children. With each different age of a child a different challenge arises when It comes to coping with a divorce. This must be considered in the realm of things. If you are divorcing your spouse due to domestic violence, adultery, or an other serious infraction of the marriage vows, then a divorce may be inevitable no matter how you look at it. However, remember, most children do not want their parents to divorce. Good or bad, they want their parents together. If you really are whole heartedly considering your children, you can't help but consider some serious couple's counseling first, before taking the plunge. When you have kids, it's an unwritten moral law that you must try everything possible to keep the family together, and not put your kids through the agony of a broken family. Again, there are some circumstances leading to divorce that are in the best interest of the child no matter what you do.

A Broken Relationship-

You must search your soul in all sincerity if you are forever to break the vows and love that you committed to each other when you were married. You wouldn't have gotten married if there wasn't something good about you as a couple. Are you sure you are truly willing to let go of that forever? It's not unheard of that years down the road couples remarry. Sometimes spouses are so overwhelmed by whatever problems they are having they forget there is something to have to hold and to keep. Ask yourself, how would you feel if you saw your spouse with someone else? Some people never ponder this question, only to see a divorced spouse down the road with someone else and be totally shocked that they can't stand what their seeing. They wonder why am I so jealous, I divorced him? The reason being maybe the problems you were having overshadowed your feelings, and now that the problems are gone, you still feel love for that person. One must seriously think about why they are truly leaving their spouse, and try to imagine what the rest of their life would be without them. Sometimes a temporary relief from being around your spouse is NOT worth a lifetime apart.

Finances-

Divorcing a spouse isn't just about you or them being financially uncomfortable, it's about a lot more than that. With the high cost of living, and the lack of employment it could mean going without every day needs for yourself as well as your children. It may mean no college fund for the kids. No more vacations, no money to fix the car when it breaks down, no special outings with the kids, NO more of a lot of things. Now of course I am in no way suggesting spouses should stay together to be more comfortable, however, the way things are nowadays you may have to cut a lot of corners, and do without a lot of things for both you and your children, An awareness of this comes when junior wants to be in a sport you can afford the equipment for. We have to always remember a divorce financially devastates everyone, not just the man like movies of the week would leave us to believe. Finances for you, and the sake of your children must be seriously considered before taking that trip to divorce court.

Family and Friends-

Yes, I know it's your marriage not theirs. However, your family and friends have been a part of your life and your children's lives since the get go. Maternal and paternal grandparents are effected by a divorce which in turn effects the kids. Your friends don't know which way to turn, as they feel they will be betraying one or the other no matter which way they go. So far there is no easy formula on who gets the friends! Uncles aunts, cousins can be cut out of your child's life as the ink is drying on the divorce papers. A not so funny thing happens when people divorce, more often than not it totally disintegrates an extended family form one side to the other. You must in all good conscience seriously realize and think about what this will do to the families on both sides. It's totally selfish if you don't.

Spirituality and Religion-

Last but certainly not least is to carefully consider how this will effect your faith, belief system, moral code, and your sense of right and wrong. I am in no way suggesting that it is wrong to divorce, that is a decision each of us make according to what we believe. However, it must be seriously considered of how this will effect what you believe, what your spouse believes, and what you have taught your children to believe, If you are a person who strongly believed in the vows you made before God to your spouse, a divorce can be very spiritually devastating to you. This is one of the most important considerations of all. Why you ask? Because people who are spiritual and have faith in God, have very strong beliefs about what they should and should not be doing. To put these aside and to make a decision that directly goes against what they believe can be devastating. It cannot be a decision made in haste. The guilt that someone like this would carry would be too difficult to bare. One must take the time to pray, to meditate, and to be open to all possibilities of healing of the relationship before ever considering a divorce.

Unfortunately divorce has become very common place. there really what we can call throw away marriages. if this one's bad, lets' just go an get another. Anyone who has a conscience and any sense of why they married their spouse in the first place, and why they made the decision to have kids, must stop, and think clearly about what they will be doing when it comes to a divorce. It's easy to be selfish and say this is what I want, but it takes a good human being to slow down and consider all that's at stake, before moving forward into divorce court!

FYI: If you are experiencing domestic violence in your marriage, Please seek out a counselor who can help with this very serious problem that affects everyone in your family!