5 Things to Avoid Saying to a Graduate -- and a Few Things Worth Mentioning

School graduation is a proud rite of passage. Conversation with a graduating student calls for a certain protocol. Here are five things to avoid saying to a recent graduate:

• "Do you have a job lined up?" This is a buzz kill. The graduate without a job is reminded of the tenuous employment atmosphere and the graduate with a job is reminded of how soon the grind begins. Allow the accomplishment of commencement to be enjoyed without cutting right to the rat race.

• "What are your plans?" Graduates know you want to hear them say they plan to solve poverty, spread peace and cure cancer, but what they really want to say is that they plan to catch up on months of lost sleep, read some trashy novels and contemplate beautiful sunsets for a while. Questions like this just make them feel like they are re-living their oral exams.

• "What is your GPA?" Grade Point Averages are of concern primarily to school admission officers, whose task is to thin the herd by splitting hairs. The graduate is light years beyond the admissions ordeal and fretting about GPAs is ancient history. There is no need to be looking in the rear view mirror at this point. Besides, in the real world, there is little or no discernable difference between a B plus student and an A minus student.

• "Now you can start paying off those student loans." It is not unusual for a graduate to be burdened with a five or even six figure student loan debt. The reminder of this stark reality, even in jest, is a gloomy overcast on what otherwise should be a celebration. Don't rain on the parade.

• "Plastics." Yes, this is the hilarious bit of feeble vocational advice bestowed upon the hapless character played by Dustin Hoffman in the 1967 social comedy film titled The Graduate. However, chances are only the cinema majors will know what you are talking about or that a joke is intended. The lesson is to just generally beware of feeble advice.

Here are a few things worth mentioning to a recent graduate:

• Letter of recommendation. If the graduate is someone you can sincerely vouch for and feel would be an asset in the workforce, offer to write a letter of recommendation.

• A lunch invitation. Ask the graduate to join you for lunch and a quick tour of your workplace.

• Resume. Let the graduate know you would be willing to receive a resume and convey it to appropriate sources.

• Congratulations. Graduation is an important rite of passage deserving of recognition and celebration.