5 Things You Should Not Do when Someone is Angry with You

If there's anything we can't stand it's someone being mad at us. Unfortunately it bothers us so much sometimes that we end up doing things that make the situation worse. To steer clear of this trap, consider these five things you should avoid doing when someone is angry with you.

1. Keep Pushing and Prodding

We just can't let it go. We have to keep pushing for answers; keep pressuring the person to explain why they're so angry. We won't leave them alone until we get an explanation. The problem with this approach is that it backfires almost every time and the person ends up being more angry and frustrated than they were to begin with.

2. Trying to Overcompensate

This is when we go overboard in an attempt to get the other person to stop being mad at us. It comes from an insane neediness within us. We can't handle them being angry with us, so we go to desperate lengths to fix it. The person usually thinks we're being phony and so we end up pushing them further away instead of winning them over.

3. Beating Ourselves Up

When we can't seem to make the situation better we often beat ourselves up for causing the person's anger. A sincere apology is most likely necessary, but tearing ourselves apart over the situation, no matter how serious it is, will not improve things. It won't help the other person and it isn't going to help you. What's done is done and you can't change that now. Instead of beating yourself up for the rest of your life, why not learn from the situation and resolve to never make that mistake again.

4. Get Angry at Them

When someone is angry at us and we feel guilty or upset about it, we might try to turn it around on them. We'll find any reason we can to be angry at them, to make them into the problem. That way at least both of you can be angry; it makes you feel justified. Doing this causes the problem to grow and it becomes increasingly difficult to mend the situation.

5. Try to get Back at Them

This is probably the worst thing you can do. Trying to get revenge is an immature response to any situation. Revenge does not solve anything but only causes more damage; often irreparable damage. Not to mention, it's bad for your health.

What Can You Do?

Of course, even when we aren't exactly sure why someone is angry with us or we don't agree with their reasons, it is important that we offer a sincere apology. Our pride gets in the way a lot when it comes to this, but it is a much nobler feat to humble ourselves and say we're sorry than to refuse to do so.

The person may need some time and space. Don't expect them to be friendly with you right away. After you have apologized, let them know you are there whenever they are ready to work things out.

It is important that you be understanding and compassionate. We don't always agree with the reason someone is angry with us, but to them it must seem valid or they would not be angry. So try to be considerate of their feelings.

Keep these five things you should not do in mind the next time someone is angry with you. It may be difficult to avoid these reactions, but you'll fare a lot better if you do. Remember to drop your pride and show compassion. It's hard to stay angry at a humble, sincere, and understanding individual, so be one.