5 Things My Second Child Taught Me

When my first child was born in January of 2005, I thought I had all the answers. I knew I had the formula to raise the "perfect child." Then I had a second child. And it turned my perfect formula on its head. I've learned that having a second child changes everything. It makes you a different kind of parent. These are the lessons my new bundle of joy has taught me:

1. Its okay to let a baby cry for a little while. When my first child was born I hated letting him cry. What if he thought I didn't love him anymore? What if he was in distress? My second child has made me reconsider. Colic will do that to a parent. Sometimes babies just cry. Sometimes you are too busy taking care of your other child to respond immediately. When you do get to calm your screaming bundle of joy, that sweet smile will make you forget all of the wailing that preceded it.

2. Babies are pretty tough. My husband loves to wrestle with our two-year-old. My two year old loves it so much that he tries to engage his baby brother in the same activity. I cannot tell you how many times I have looked over at the baby happily lying on a blanket on the floor minding his own business when, WHAM, his brother is rolling over the top of him like some professional wrestler. Surprisingly, the baby has never gotten hurt and actually seems to be unfazed by it most of the time.

3. A well meaning hug counts. My two-year-old loves his little brother. He is also a very affectionate kid. But sometimes a two-year-old hugging a 6 month old doesn't always have the best outcome. Sometimes hugs are eclipsed with cries for help but they are usually very well received.

4. Your child will live through the night. What first time parent hasn't brought their new bundle of joy home from the hospital and worried that they will stop breathing at some point? I know I worried about this with my first child. I made sure his chest was rising and falling on cue. But, when my second child was born, I was so busy trying to keep up, I didn't have time for this fun activity. Not to worry, though, he has been breathing nonstop since day one.

5. There is enough love to go around. When I was six months pregnant with my second child someone asked me if I thought I would have enough love for a second child. The question took me aback for a moment. Call it power of suggestion or something that would have happened anyway, but I began to wonder, "Would I be able to love this baby like I loved my first child"� "Was a love that deep possible a second time? Now that he is here, I cannot believe how deep my love is for the baby. While my second child is quite different from my first, there is absolutely no difference in the way that I love them. And that is the most important lesson any parent can learn the second time around.