5 Tips for Better Communication with Your Parents

Teens and parents seem to be speaking different languages. Words are being spoken but nothing is being communicated. This lack of communication can stress relationships and make teens feel like their parents are out to make their lives miserable and parents feel like teens are trying to be hurtful. Parents can be a great asset as you work your way through the teenagers. These easy tips will help you to develop a pattern of good communication.

1. Take a few minutes each day to talk to your parents. Initiate conversation with your parents, even if it is only to tell them what happened in school or what your plans are for the weekend. Parents will be less likely to nag or snoop in order to understand what is going on in your life if you are open with them. As hard as it can be to believe when you are struggling in your relationship with your parents, they really do just want what's best for you even if they do not always know the best way to help. You can talk about different things with your parents than you do with your friends. It is a different relationship and it is okay if you don't share the same things as you do with your friends.

2. Don't lie. Lying prevents your parents from being able to trust you. Your integrity is one of the most important possessions that you have. It's kind of like your credit rating, as you get older and prove your credibility in the financial world. One missed or late payment can raise your interest rate and prevent you from getting credit for years because companies aren't quite sure that they can trust you to pay when you say you will. If you make a habit of lying and develop a poor "integrity rating: people aren't sure whether or not they can trust you.

If your parents ask you about something you aren't ready to talk about don't lie about it. Tell them the truth - that you are not ready to talk about it yet and you know where to find them when you are. They can respect that answer. There may be times when it's an issue of your safety and they may push for more information but lying is not going to improve the situation. Be honest with them and tell them what your feelings are.

3. Be a good listener. Parents have bad days too. They like to share the things in their life with you too. A healthy relationship is one that goes two ways. Make sure you are giving something in the relationship instead of just taking from it. You may learn a thing or two about your parents along the way and when you understand each other better, daily arguments don't have as much clout.

4. Put it in Writing. Sometimes in the heat of an argument we can end up saying things that we don't really mean. If you are upset by something, try writing your parents a note or sending them an email (hey, the relationships with parents have changed too). You will be less likely to say something you don't really mean when you take the time to write out your thoughts and think about what it is you want to say. Writing your thoughts down can also help when you have a big question to ask your parents or need permission for something that you don't think they will allow. Explain your feelings and what your goals are.

5. Say you're sorry. We all make mistakes. It is part of learning and growing and becoming a better person. When you do have a disagreement a simple sorry can go a long way. You don't have to apologize for the whole argument if it wasn't your fault but arguments take two people so you can always take responsibility for the part that you played. Hopefully your parents will also apologize and you can solve the problem in a calm way and go back to communicating what you really mean and building your relationship.