5 Tips for Communication with Teenage Sons

We all must face facts that you as a parent may feel some morning, when you wake up, that the son you said goodnight to is not the son you see in the morning. They seem to become a young adult male and you did not even see it coming. There are some ways that work better than others when you are trying to communicate with these "strangers".

1. Try to get to know the son who is in front of you. Not the one you used to know. This young man may have lots of friends or not so many. Do you know his friends? Does he freely talk about them? Is he hanging with a good group or one thats questionable? If you can ask him freely about his friends, try not to make judgments about them. Because in making judgments about them, he may feel you are judging him as well.

2. Do you know what types of things your son is really into? Does he like music, sports, art and theater, fashion, etc... Maybe a connection could be built on one of those things. If you feel his mode of dress is not to your liking, try to think back to your own teenager days. Didn't we all get the speech about, "are you gonna wear that !" It is important for your son to feel like he is doing his own thing. Sometimes this allows them to feel like they fit in with their circle of friends. Can you find out a Little info on a favorite sports team or music group he likes? This will promote conversation together.

3. Can you praise him for what he does do and not get on his case for what he did not do. What we have learned is teenagers across the board can be scattered at times in their thoughts and thinking. A little bit of praise goes along way in making them feel good about themselves. Sometimes a common comment from boys is they think they never do anything right, so why even try. Praise costs you nothing, give it a try.

4. Hugs can be Little harder to give especially if this is not the normal in your household. We have no problem doing this when they are wee, but sometimes as they become older it gets abit more strained. Dads may find that they are more comfortable with the pat on the shoulder or lite tap on the arm to show affection. Once you begin making this a part of your routine, it gets to feel more common.

5. Perhaps a showing of believing in them could be displayed in the way of offering the car keys instead of your son having to ask. We would do this only if your son has demonstrated that he is worthy and makes good decisions. He will know that you are trusting him to be a responsible person. This should only happen with the parent's boundaries clearly understood.

Most of these things are very simple. A lot of them we may not think of in the course of the day. We were all teenagers at one time, maybe just stepping back for a moment and remembering how frustrating those times were, we could be a Little more understanding.