5 Tips for Successful Online Dating from Someone Who Married Their Online Love

OK, so you have made it through the tough part - you decided to at least TRY online dating. The good news is that the stigma that used to go along with dating online is now a distant memory and it is a much more acceptable way of meeting people (not that you should really care about what others think anyway.) Let's face it, in today's world there are a growing number of people who work extremely long hours or work weekends, people travel for work more now than ever, and there are a ton of people who are not into the traditional club/bar dating scene. Does this mean that these people should be punished in the romance department? Absolutely not! All it means that the world and the people in it are finding new ways to meet each other - and meeting online is one of the best ways to meet and talk to a lot of people in a short time.

You may want to know why I think my tips will help you be successful in the online dating world. Well, I have been happily married for almost three years now to a wonderful man that I met online in early 2004. The tips I'm going to share with you are things that will work on Match.com, Yahoo Personals, eHarmony.com, craigslist personals, myspace.com or any other dating site you might use. Try them out and let me know how it goes!

1) Honesty is the very best policy.
First and foremost, your profile needs to be an honest and a true representation of who you are. For the love of human kind, upload a recent and accurate photo! There is nothing more misleading and dishonest than using your high school photo in your profile when you are age 37. If you are a 5'7" female and weigh a mere 115 lbs, please don't say that you have an average build. There is nothing average about being that slender and there is nothing wrong with it either. You have really got to view yourself in an honest light and share the truth about yourself - if you don't, you are wasting your time. On the other hand, you don't have to share all of your skeletons either. Find a balance that shares detail, but leaves people wanting to learn more. Also be honest about who you want to meet/date. If smoking is a deal breaker, then you need to let the world know that. Trust me, it doesn't matter how cute/beautiful/hot she is, the first time you see her light up, she will become instantly unattractive to you if smoking is your deal breaker. Remember that you are trying to find someone to meet in the real world, these people each have the potential to get to know the "real you," so why not start off on the right foot from the very beginning?

2) Email each other more than once.
This may seem like a no brainer, but there are so many people who want to just jump into that first date. Emailing each other back and forth can really help ease the tension on the first date and help you learn about each other in a no pressure situation. I would recommend emailing for at least a week before that first phone call and here's why: in a week's worth of emailing, you can actually learn a lot from someone and you might save yourself from going on a "bad" first date (simply weeding out any "bad apples"), reducing the number of bad dates you go on, which makes the online dating experience more fun. Emails should consist of more than just name, birthday, and favorite color. Ask questions that could provoke a story on the other end. In return, don't give one word answers to questions, but share a story/experience that is related. This makes you more interesting, which makes you more datable. For example, if someone asks you "Do you like outdoor activities?" you might answer with, "I love doing things outdoors. Actually, last winter I went on this awesome ski trip with two of my best friends and learned how to snowboard," (assuming all of this is true - see #1.) Lastly, always close out your emails with thought provoking questions like, "Where do you see yourself in 5, 10, 15 years?" You will be surprised by how much you learn from one another.

3) Call each other more than once.
No, I didn't just repeat myself. Don't call the day before the date simply to arrange a place and time. Calling each other a few times will let you get a sense of how the other person communicates verbally. You will also finally get to hear his/her voice - for some, THIS can be a deal breaker. Call each other and use the emails that you wrote back and forth as a source of inspiration for conversation. This is a great time to gauge how conversation might flow if you were to go on a date. Have fun with it and use the phone calls as more time to get to know one another. The more you know about someone before you meet them, the more comfortable you will be.

4) Give it more than one date.
If we hadn't given it at least three dates, my husband and I would not be married today. If the first date feels like a dud, give it at least one, if not two, more tries. You know the two of you communicate well and you are attracted to this person, so what gives? The pressure on the first date is huge. Just think about it. How do I look? What is he/she thinking? What do I say/do? Will it go well? No wonder conversation can get stalled and people can appear to clam up or appear boring. They are so wrapped up in worry and nerves that their true personality can't even begin to show. As tough as it is, try to relax and remember that the other person is nervous too - be yourself and have fun.

5) Keep an open mind.
You are not going to find Prince or Princess Charming on the first, second, or even third try (unless you have unbelievable luck), so you have to go into the online dating world with an open mind. Sure, not every person you meet is going to be a romantic match, but that doesn't mean that you can't remain friends. After all, it probably was common interests that helped you find each other in the first place. Don't be so serious about making finding a partner your "goal" with online dating. Have your goal be to enjoy your journey in the online dating world. Take it for what it is and have fun meeting new people and discovering new things about yourself.