5 Warning Signs that You're Engaged to an Abuser

People that are abusive frequently hide the real them behind the mask in the early stages of any romance relationship. You may not even recognize the signs if he is so good at deception. Any man that has abused woman over and over again is pretty good at using techniques to deceive you into thinking he isn't a freak. Here are five warning signs that you're engaged to an abuser.

He Plays On Your Emotional Weakness

Every person usually has emotional weakness. I'll give you a few examples of emotional weakness that some of us women may have. We may be weak when we talk about pregnancy when we already had a miscarriage. He will feed on that to destroy you. We may be weak when someone brings up the subject of sexual abuse because we were abused as a child. He will feed on that weakness inside of you to destroy you little by little at a time.

He Tells You That Nobody Will Want You Except Him

This technique is a last ditch effort at your self esteem. You wants you to think about your decision to leave him. He wants you to reconsider. He wants you to believe him. You have to realize that he is the one with the problem. He is the one that has insecurity issues within himself otherwise he wouldn't of said it.

He Uses Mind Games Against You

He pretends to care about you, but yet he uses everything against you. It is mind games that he uses against you. He will try to make himself appear mysterious to you. He may change stories about himself all the time. He may tell you one story about his ex then change it around a month later to the point of where you can't tell the truth from lies. You know the truth is in the pudding somewhere but you can't find it. Abusers often have affairs and tell the person that it is all in their head when they discover it. He tells you that he didn't say things when he really did and you have evidence of it. It is all mind games in order to drive you nuts. It makes you start to question your own self so you might want to walk around with a tape recorder.

He Makes You Cry In Order To Make You More Dependent On Him

You may start to notice little things about yourself such as crying more frequently. You might end up crying yourself to sleep at night. He will also try to destroy any bad relationship with your mother even further. You might find yourself miserable and can't figure out why. It a deception tactic that the man that you are currently engaged is using towards you to make you more dependable upon him. Abusive men want total control over their new love in life no matter what extent it takes them to do so. He wants to be the one to wipe away your tears so that he looks like the good guy, but he really just wants you to depend on him for emotional support. Emotional support is what he banks on in order to gain more control over you.

He Monitors Everything About You

He wants to know who you are writing a letter to in the regular mail. He wants to read the letters that you write to your friend. He even wants to read birthday card! He wants to read all incoming mail from friends. If you don't show it to him then he will just read it later when you aren't there to see him do it. You might even catch him reading the letters. He may even use the line if you have nothing to hide then why can't I read it. He proceeds to tell you how to dress to blend in with the other girls in the community. He may even tell you how to do your hair each day which is total control.

You might discover that he has a hidden tape recorder setup on the landlines phone on the home telephone. It enables him hear all incoming and outgoing calls as a method to control you without your knowledge. You might even discover that he has caller ID setup in the office without telling you about it so that he can catch you when you try to hide things from him.