5 Ways to Become a Better Parent and Enjoy Parenting More

Listening is an important skill every person needs to develop in life for success on their job and being a parent. Without listening, it's impossible to have two-way communication with adults, let alone our children.

Being a parent is a challenging and rewarding "career" with a lifelong contract. The day your first child is born you become "mommy and daddy" for life.

To be the best parents you can be to your children and derive the all the wonderful rewards for yourself and your spouse, you need to periodically take a moment to assess and evaluate how you're doing.

It takes some deep soul searching and thought, honest discussions with your spouse and children, as well as a hefty dose of meditation or prayer to discover ways to do a better job as a parent and parenting partner. Here are 5 ways to help you begin the process.

Become A Better Listener

Listening is an important skill every person needs to develop in life for success on their job and being a parent. Without listening, it's impossible to have two-way communication with adults, let alone our children.

Most parents tend to be good talkers but not good listeners. We often forget that we're dealing with children, not adults, and we need to listen much more carefully.

As parents, we need to take the time to seriously listen to what our children have to say. This also involves making them feel comfortable to express themselves to us. To do this we need to ask them the right questions in the right way.

Very often, our initial reaction is to "get their side of the story" ... especially in situations where there was a problem at school or a disagreement with their siblings or friends. All too often our voices and mannerisms are angry and threatening ... and our focus is more on "prying out" the truth, than it is on listening and understanding.

Unfortunately, this sends out the wrong message and tells our children that they're "guilty until proven innocent" ... instead of the other way around. It also sets up a "confrontational" climate where both parent and child are not really listening and communicating.

Being a better listener requires opening up our ears, minds and hearts and always giving our children the benefit of the doubt ... even when we may not be inclined to do so. It also takes patience, especially with younger children who may not be able to speak their mind as clearly as we're accustomed to. With younger children, we very often have to take more time, ask more questions, and help them organize their thoughts and express themselves. Otherwise we won't be able to hear what they're really saying and understand.

Taking a deep breath, relaxing and really listening to our children ... regardless of the circumstances or how angry they make us ... is a good first step to being a better parent.

Empathize .... Remember I Was Once A Kid Too

With all the responsibilities that come with being a parent, a spouse and a wage earner, we often lose sight of the fact that we were once children too. Just like our kids, we wanted to watch one more TV show ... or spend another half hour on the computer before we went to bed. Long car rides to see relatives were boring to us too ... and the sight of a fast-food restaurant along the highway made us ask to stop for a burger and soda with a side of French fries too.

Sometimes, all we need to do is put ourselves in our children's shoes and remember what we were like when we were kids. Empathizing with our children in this way can help us be a bit more flexible, understanding and innovative in the way we deal with our children and the situations of daily life.

Be More Proactive and Less Reactive

Parents tend to be reactive rather than pro-active which immediately puts children "on the defensive". Too many academic and behavioral problems arise because we as parents don't take the initiative to become more actively involved in the important aspects of our children's lives ... such as their school work, and the friends they're associating with at school and afterwards.

Rather than getting upset when they bring home poor grades from school, we need to more carefully monitor their progress by reviewing their homework nightly and talking to their teachers regularly, so we can identify problems and prevent bad grades before they happen. Talking about their daily activities and friends at the dinner table takes very little time, and s a very effective way of learning what they're doing in their spare time.

As the old saying goes "an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure!"

Set The Right Example

"Do as I say not as I do" ... for generations, this had been one of the basic precepts of parenting. Today things are different ... our children are less sheltered and exposed to more by the media and in school. They won't accept the answer "because I'm the mommy (or daddy) ... that's why".

We need to set the right example and be the ideal role models for our children ... even if it means owning up to our mistakes and shortcomings. This is one of the toughest things to do to improve your parenting schools ... especially for dads! We need to be the role models ... because there are very few other of the right role models around.

Share All Parenting Responsibilities With Your Spouse When the going gets tough as parents ... and we've reached our wits end ... and all else fails our natural response is often ... "Mommy isn't going to like that" ... or the classic "Just wait till your father gets home!". This unfortunately teaches our children to play one parent against the other ... "work all the angles" ... and negotiate to get their own way. Sharing communication, discipline and all other parenting opportunities equally with one another ... and agreeing on common grounds for handling problems ... helps relieve a great deal of the stress that parenting creates for ourselves and our children. It also helps alleviate many marital disagreements too.