5 Ways to Have a Better Relationship:

It is 2011. Are you feeling like one of your New Year's resolutions should be to find ways to have better relationships with everyone around you? Did you experience many of your relationships having drama in 2010? If yes, this article is definitely for you. If no, you still will benefit reading on as it may prevent you from falling into relationships "traps".

Way number one to have better relationships,(with your significant other), is to not try to change her. You can be angry, yell, shout, etc., but unless she wants to change, it won't happen my friend. The constant nagging and fighting about the issue will only cause problems in the bedroom and depression within the relationship. You should tell her what bothers you and why. If the thing that bothers you is something you can't live with, do both of you a favor and move on. If she seems willing to try to change and expresses she really wants to, encourage her. Be a team! Try not to be too controlling and listen when she gets frustrated; especially if this is a weight related change you seek. Food is a comfort and if you make her uncomfortable and you aren't acting like her friend, she knows who her friends are. Those left over Christmas cookies will soon be touching her lips, instead of yours!

Way number two to have better relationships,(with your children), is to understand where they are a developmentallyt. If your child is one year old and you spank him because he touches a plug outlet, he doesn't understand why he is being spanked. In his peanut brain, he is experiencing fear because his daddy is spanking him and he doesn't know why. He isn't learning anything by being spanked except fear of daddy. You need to have an understanding of child development to know if your child has a clue to why he is doing something wrong. When it comes to your teenager, they are meant to be rebellious. They need to do this in order to break away from the "nest". That doesn't mean they should mistreat you, but be grateful they are "trying to pull away" from you. This means they are healthy! Be firm, fair, and consistent with your teen ager as they will push your buttons. That is their job at this age. Protect your baby from harmful things by child proofing your home. Moving them away from danger and saying a firm,"No",is better than spanking him. He will get it after several times of repetition.

Way number three to have better relationships,(with your parents), is to set up healthy boundaries. Once you are 18, you are an adult. If you keep going and asking your parents for money, babysitting, help cleaning your house, etc., expect that they are going to treat you like a child. If you want them not to interfere in your life then you get on equal footing with them. Now, I am not saying that in a true emergency you shouldn't ask your parents for help. That is what parents are for. What I am saying is, if you want to be treated like an adult, you have to act like an adult. If you need their help in an emergency, make sure you repay the favor. Your parents are not your loan company, nanny, or housekeeper. If you treat them as such, they will continue to treat you as a child.

Way number four to have better relationships,( with your "Bro" or "Girl"), is to understand the codes. No matter what age you are,(I am 51), there is a code. Break the code and you are going to have problems with your best friend. I will start with the "girl code" since I know it better. You never have sex with your girl's ex. I don't care if she says it is o.k. It will come back and bite you harder than he ever did! It isn't worth the drama. You never, ever try to tell her how to raise her kids. Last, but not least, do not flirt with her husband. Now, for the "Bro" code. The "Bros" will never put a woman before his buddies unless he is really into her. It just won't happen. If you are a woman reading this, understand that. And guys, you have to understand that the "Bro code" only goes so far when your homeboy has really fallen in love. Be happy for him and let him out of the "Bro before hoes" trap. He needs you guys as he is scared to death about leaving his "Bros". The older guys need just as much support from their "Bros" because they are going through their mid-life crisis. The older home girls are hitting menopause. All through our lives we need our friends. Humans are like dogs, we run in packs and all packs have codes!

Way number five to have better relationships, (with your self), is to forgive yourself. No matter how hard you try, you aren't going to be perfect. You will make mistakes. Humans are incapable of being perfect. Once you learn that, you may stop hurting your self with addictions, depression, and illnesses. A person happy with themselves are emotionally as well as physically healthy. Treat yourself to pampering when you are having a rough time. Expect the best and you are more likely to receive it.

Understand that people who were raised with abusive, alcoholic, emotionally unavailable, mentally ill, or physically ill parents may find that as adults they have problems with relationships. This is because their parents were not able to give them everything they needed as a child. The parents may have loved them very much, but the issue got "in the way" of healthy parenting. If you are a person that has experienced the above, you may need more than 5 ways to have a better relationship on associated content and that is o.k.

This speaks to the forgiving yourself. Seek the help of a therapist. If you are finding that you are having problems with relationships, ask the therapist if she is knowledgeable in this area before you make the appointment. Now, nine chances out of ten, she is. Asking her this question does three things: You are asking someone to help you, You are telling her upfront what your expectations are, and you are letting her know you are able to take care of yourself by asking her the questions in the first place! You have set up boundaries with your future employee. Congratulations! Have a Happy New Year!