5 Ways to Cope with a Losing Season

We all know the feeling. The team has made tremendous moves in the off-season, the TV analysts all predict big things, and reports from training camp are all glowing. We can feel it. It's our year. Championship, here we come! Then, something happens. To the untrained eye, it's imperceptible at first. Maybe the defense isn't quite clicking in the preseason like we were told it would. Maybe the first game is won by a field goal instead of two or three touchdowns. Maybe something is really wrong.

It's the moment every fan fears. There are few phrases that are dreaded more than "start building for next season." It means that all that anticipation in the offseason, all that hope, all that damned tin foil you bought to make your own replica of the Lombardi Trophy or the Stanley Cup was all wasted. I'm experiencing it right now. The Denver Broncos resemble one of the most miserable looking teams in the NFL. The only games we won were by two lucky field goals. We lost two games at home, including our worst blowout since the 1940s. Our star (and expensive) running back is fighting the league over failed drug tests. Our veteran center is out for the season. I could rush for 145 yards against our defense. It's pathetic. We limp into the bye week at 2-3 with a horrible schedule coming up.

It hurts. I envy all the teams that are doing even remotely well. They still have hope. The playoffs are still possible. Don't get me wrong, I've kept the faith. A fan must always keep the faith. Making the postseason from 2-3 can still be done. But I have brought out the emergency kit just to be safe. There are ways of surviving a lost season. They'll never bring the same satisfaction as your team hoisting the trophy, but it can be done. Here's how.

1. Make predictions at your own risk.

Listen closely. Never, NEVER, make a prediction unless you are fully prepared to eat your words. A loss hurts enough, but if you've given your friends enough ammo by bragging or guaranteeing success, you have just dug your own grave. The world of sports is just too wacky to predict anything.

2. Scream, cry, and pound things.

Don't worry. It's okay to cry as a fan. I cried when the Huskers used to lose every title game to some damned Florida team (now I cry each game that idiot Calahan remains coach). So did my dad and brothers. My mom thought we were pathetic, but she didn't understand. Last week, my Broncos suffered their worst home blowout since the 1940s. I slammed on the couch until my son woke up from his nap (BAD idea if his mother is around). By the way, anything said during a game cannot be held against you in the future. I vowed never to watch another game this year and cursed Denver's coaches, players, equipment managers, and cheerleaders. Am I held to any of it? Absolutely not. Go ahead. Yell all you want. It's therapeutic.

3. Look for the positive.

Every team has some bright spots. It could be the young players that are performing exceptionally well. Give them a year of experience and they'll develop. Take the Packers, for example. They were abysmal for most of last season, but their young guys were learning the system, developing chemistry and they won the last four games of the year. Now, they're 4-1 and playing with intensity. The same thing happened with the Colorado Avalanche. They made a fantastic push at the end, missing the playoffs by one lousy point. Continue to follow the team and look for improvement. Don't focus on the wins and losses. See if they're developing. If the record doesn't improve, at least you'll get a high draft pick.

4. Get backup teams in other sports.

This is known as covering your bases. The Broncos and Huskers are stinking up the place. The Rockies, however, are three games away from the World Series after one of the most incredible postseason runs in Major League history. I still love the Broncos and Huskers, but I'd be a fool not to play the baseball angle right now. On another note, my Avalanche are just starting a very promising season. With four teams to follow, I have a better chance of celebrating success than I if I had pinned all my hopes on one. There are just two rules. You cannot jump to another team in the same league and you must honestly like your other choices. For example, if you love the Rams, jumping to the Patriots fan club is forbidden. You can't cheer for LSU if you never have before. For the most part, your buddies will keep you honest.

5. Take comfort in history.

The Red Sox finally won. The Brewers had their first winning season in 15 years. Even the Lions and Raiders are creating some hope. It's nearly inevitable that every team will get their time in the sun. After all, 20 losing seasons means 20 high draft picks. Sooner or later, you'll have a good team.

There are other ways to cope with a failed season, but almost all involve the consumption of dangerous quantities of alcohol. Cheer up, enjoy the sport for what it is, and take some time to marvel at the games' great players. Waiting for next year won't be easy, but it can be done. Now, can anyone sell me some cheap Rockies tickets? I'll throw in seats to a Broncos game absolutely free.