5 Ways to Keep from Stepping on Your Cat and Breaking Your Neck

At times, your cat can be the biggest obstacle in the house. He can anticipate your every move and in a split second place himself directly in your path. Your cat has designed each to move to look as if he loves you and must be with you always, but his real goal is to demonstrate his superiority. This article offers some defensive plays that will make you shine.

Cats are amazing creatures. Their quickness, agility and strength put us, their owners, in our place time and again. If you have ever lived with a cat, you know that they are nature's way of teaching humans humility. Cats usually teach these lessons in a Zen-like manner of non-action but sometimes, cats choose to employ a decidedly hands-on approach.

Let's set the stage. You are parked on the couch watching your favorite show and a commercial break begins. This is the perfect time to get into the kitchen and grab a snack. Mr. Cat agrees. You get up and head off towards the kitchen. Before you have taken three steps, your cat has started the lesson. He presents his customary choreography, weaving and winding directly in front of your feet. He lithely rubs against your legs, changing direction better than any Heisman winner could. You, on the other hand, have to rely on something more than reflex to both not step on Mr. Cat and remain upright. Here are a the top five tried and true techniques for out catting the cat.

#5. The Stutter Step.

This is the easiest defensive move you can employ against your cat. To perform the move, keep both feet on the ground then slide one foot in front of the other, shuffling like one of the living dead. Be aware that your cat may decided that this behavior is actually an invitation to play and will leap on your feet. Due to this potential danger, socks or slippers are recommended equipment. Note: The Stutter Step is the slowest of the avoidance methods and should only be used when time is not critical.

#4. The Pick and Roll.

When used at full speed on a basketball court by people who are at the top of their game, the pick and roll is a thing of beauty. When the rest of us try it, we look considerably less graceful but do not let that stop you. This move does keep you both upright and off the cat's tail fairly well. Remember the key to a great performance is practice, practice, practice.

#3. The Side Waddle.

This step, originally developed by the great Charlie Chaplin, is not only effective but also great fun for anyone watching. To do the move properly, kitty must be doing figure 8s directly in front of you. Now, square your shoulders, relax your knees and spread your legs hips width apart. Turn your feet out and walk, taking small, quick steps. Be sure that you sway as you walk thereby keeping Mr. Cat guessing.

#2. The High Step

This looks exactly as it sounds. To perform properly you must channel your inner flamingo. Raise each leg, bent at the knee, as high as you can while stepping forward in an exaggerated fashion. Flapping your arms for balance and visual effect is allowed; in fact, it is encouraged. The charm of this style is that you not only do you avoid squashing the cat but if performed with enough enthusiasm, your cat will actually avoid you completely for several hours.

#1. Put the Cat Outside.