5 Ways to Kill Off Charlie Sheen in 'Two and a Half Men'

So the question is now being asked, "how do you kill Charlie Harper off?" It's a tough position CBS is in as Ashton Kutcher joins the show and Sheen painfully exits. But how painful will CBS get? Will Sheen just be on a permanent vacation, or will writers of the show decide to kill him off? The "Two and a Half Men" dilemma is intriguing for several reasons.

For entertainment value alone, the death of the character Charlie Harper could be enough juice that it might land a few more viewers as the show tries to regain any momentum it had before the dismissal of Sheen. But CBS would permanently pull the plug on any miraculous return of Sheen to the mix by killing him off. It's something writers of the show are probably quite perplexed about as the show tries to live life post Sheen.

Just in case CBS decides to throw Charlie Sheen under the bus, here are a few ways I could envision the veteran actor being killed off.

1) Run Over By a Greyhound Bus With Giant "Winning" Sign
If CBS decides to pull out something close to what is happening in real life, maybe they would opt for a death by something that includes a sign with the Charlie Sheen catch phrase "winning" on it. This might tick off a few of Sheen's die hard fans, but it might also serve as one final blow to the man who left the show high and dry. Buses generally have logos, so why not throw Charlie under the bus, literally to cast his character off into oblivion? The icing on the cake would be the "winning" sign. It's doubtful that writers of the show or CBS would agree to take this big of a parting shot at Sheen.

2) Death by Twitter
So how does one die by Twitter? It probably hasn't officially happened to anyone yet, but perhaps Charlie Harper could serve as the guinea pig for this social media experiment gone wrong. Harper could be stalked by a crazed Twitter fan or perhaps he Tweets he is going on vacation and abruptly leaves after posting a "Tweet." Maybe he insults a mafia type on Twitter and they have their guys take him out. Sheen is so big on Twitter these days that perhaps this would serve as a little bit of a knock on his post "Two and a Half Men" career.

3) Abducted By Hot Aliens
So Sheen gets abducted by aliens. Not just any aliens - hot aliens! His last words on Twitter are posted as he is beamed up by the blond, sexy aliens from another planet. Sure, this sounds far fetched and silly. But Charlie Harper could exit the show without officially kicking the bucket. Harper could also be sent off in style with some very good looking aliens. Charlie could even send a postcard with his picture since he's not available to act the part. This would leave the door open for a potential and hilarious return.

4) Having Sex While Skydiving
If the guy who is the ultimate ladies' man needs to meet an untimely death, couldn't he kick the bucket having fun in the sky? If his character is going to die on the show, Sheen could at least pull off one of the most daredevil acts of his generation. The writers could play off this kind of death with accounts on the local news with astonished anchors. I think this one takes priority if the writers want to kill him off with a bit of humor.

5) Killed In a Circus Accident
Charlie Harper reluctantly agrees to go to the circus. The writers could have him attempt to be shot out of a cannon.
The human cannon death would certainly be a little less toxic than some of the other morbid ways of death.
Since Sheen is unavailable to act, the more outlandish the death, probably the better. Only his buddy Jon Cryer could recount what happened during the horrible freak circus accident.

These are just a few ways I've thought up to have Charlie Sheen and his character Charlie Harper killed off "Two and a Half Men." Is he going to inevitably be put to pasture by the writers of the show? Only time will tell. Chances are the writers will leave an open door to his potential return by sending him out of the country for a job or on an extended vacation. Ashton Kutcher will enter the show most likely as a new character and pick up where Sheen left off.
Does that mean "Two and a Half Men" will be able to continue the success? That's a question we probably won't know the answer to until the first few post-Sheen episodes begin to air. CBS and writers of the show certainly have their hands full with the departure of one of the more beloved characters ever on prime time television. So they'll have to walk tenderly as they figure out a way to explain what happened to Harper. The explanation of the absence of Sheen will be a huge start to the new show with Kutcher. So writers of the show will undoubtedly feel extra pressure to get it right.