6 Dating Lies You Need to Stop Telling

When we date, we often lie to ourselves and to others about what's really going on. It's a defense mechanism, being in denial and a way to avoid confrontation, retain control or protect ourselves from getting hurt. Unfortunately, as minimal as they may seem, they're still lies that can create problems and upset, whether it's self-inflicted or experienced by someone else. When we break free from telling these lies, it creates a more open and honest relationship with others as well as with ourselves.

"We're More Than Just Friends-with-benefits"

If you're more than friends-with-benefits, you'll have no doubt about it because you will have had a talk about it. Yes, a situation like this requires a talk in order to decide what it actually is - if you haven't had one, you are not more than friends-with-benefits. He could say that the two of you are, but until you are actually his girlfriend, he is just giving you words without action.

"This Relationship is Working"

I've done this twice - I stayed in a relationship past the point I should have left. I knew it at the time and chose to shove it down and ignore it hoping that it would somehow work out. After I learned my lesson, I found myself in a similar experience, left when it got to that point and I was much happier for it. Lying to yourself and saying the relationship is working isn't healthy for either of you. I'm not saying to bail when things get rough, but when it feels like you have a neon sign pointing at you saying "You no longer want this," - shutting it off won't do any good. It's time to leave otherwise you'll go through heartache with him when you could be happy without him.

"The Sex is Fantastic"

There's nothing enjoyable about bad sex, so why waste your time having it? If the sex isn't good, saying that it's fantastic and hoping it's going to change isn't going to do anything. Being honest with yourself and saying "It's really not as great as it could be" is going to allow you to figure out why you're not enjoying it and take the necessary steps to fix it.

"It's Not You, It's me. I Promise"

Sometimes when someone says this, it's actually true but more often than not, it's complete garbage. Not only are you making yourself look bad, but you're being unnecessarily dishonest. Tell him the truth about why you're breaking up with him - if you were unhappy with something he did, he has the right to know and you should just tell him anyway to get it out of your system.

"I'm Okay With This Being Casual"

If you're having a casual relationship with a guy, whether or not there are "benefits," and you're not really okay with the way things are going, don't lie to yourself or him and say that you're perfectly fine with a casual relationship. Be honest with yourself and admit the truth - sometimes that scare will be enough to encourage him to take it a step further. If he doesn't want to, then you know where the two of you stand and you can either continue on with the casual relationship or you can move on without him.

"If a Guy Doesn't Want Me, It's Always Because There's Something Wrong With Me"

The more you tell yourself this horrible lie, the more you're going to believe it. Speak the truth - just because a specific guy isn't into you doesn't mean there is something wrong with you. You're not interested in every guy you meet and not every guy you meet is going to be interested in you - sometimes two people get along but just wouldn't mesh well in a relationship. There's a slew of other reasons why it might not work, but why focus on what they are when there are plenty of other men that are legitimately interested in you.

When you lie to yourself, it's just as bad as when you're lying to someone else. The more honest you are, the less complicated things can be and the more you'll trust yourself and your judgment. If people don't like when you tell the truth and speak your mind, especially when they ask you a question and don't like your response, they can take a hike. Be true and honest to yourself; you'll see things much more clearly and you can help prevent a lot of hurt along the way.