6 Reasons to Avoid the Office Holiday Party

It's that time a year again and many companies around the country have handed their employees invitations to the annual office holiday party. Whether it is held at the workplace or a big event at a golf club, all your co-workers are talking about it. You hear about stories of Christmas past and your co-workers are pressing you to go. This is your first holiday season working for the company and you don't want to offend. Do you go to the holiday party despite all the stories and your reservations? Here are 6 reasons to avoid the Office Holiday Party.

The Invitation Is For Two

Office parties require you to bring a spouse or a date. You work with these people every day. Do you really want to expose your loved ones to their madness? Unless your spouse is very familiar with some of your coworkers, they will not survive the night soberly. If your spouse is familiar with your coworkers and doesn't like them, you spouse might embark on a drinking binge worthy of a college frat boy.

If you are not married, you have to find a victim or date to go along with you. Trust me; you do not want to show up without a date. The office will be awhirl with rumors that you are homosexual or too much of a loser to get a date. Just imagine the discomfort you will feel the following Monday, when everyone is talking about you going alone.

The Alcohol Factor

Even if you're new workplace is too cheep to spring for an open bar, chances are there will be alcohol for purchase. Think about it. Do you really want to inflict yourself with three hours of dealing with drunken coworkers? When coworkers get together and mix that get together with lots of alcohol, bad things will happen. The last thing you want to do is have to break up a shouting match between two wasted coworkers. Or even worse, spend an hour holding your supervisor's hair out of the toilet after she throws up on your shoe.

The Dangers of the Electric Slide and the Conga Line

It is a law of nature in North America that every time there is an office party, wedding or family reunion where alcohol is served, the people must break out into the Electric Slide or the Conga at least one during the festivities. Drunken people engaging in the Electric Slide or Conga are a danger to their own safety and a threat to everyone else. Many sober employees at office parties have been inadvertently knocked down like a bowling pin by a drunken coworker engaging in this celebrative dance. Since you are not on the clock, you will not be compensated for the time off you will need to recover from your injuries. Worse of all, you will have to continue to work with the klutz that knocked you over and pretend there are no hard feelings over your injuries.

Unwanted Advances from Drunken Coworkers

Believe it or not, adults suffer from infatuations and crushes at the workplace. The conditions that exist in a holiday office party permit an otherwise outstanding coworker to get tanked. Once tanked, that co-worker has no inhabitations. While he or she would never hit on you ordinarily because they know you are married or have a significant other, this person may express their undying love for you due to their drunken state. Can you imagine having a coworker hit on you while your spouse or date is standing right next you? Can you imagine the awkwardness of working with the person who hit on you? It is best to avoid the situation in the first place.

You Are Human

Even if you decide to go and swear you will not permit one drop of alcohol to touch your lips, you are human. It is extremely hard to resist the temptation. Office holiday parties are more stressful then fun. Everyone around you will be drinking. Even if you think you possess the self-restraint of a monk, you could very well end up drunk and quickly become the drunken fool of the evening. The only think worse then witnessing the office holiday train wreck is being the train wreck. Even if they do not say anything the next Monday morning, they will be talking about it for years behind your back.

Happy Birthday Suit

If there is anything almost as sure as a break out of the Electric Slide or a Conga line at an office holiday party, it is the fact that some poor drunk fool will decide to take off their clothes between mid party and leaving. Do you really want to see this? I once saw a three hundred pound coworker strip down to his boxers while trying to fall into his car! I am haunted to this very day by back flashes and every time I see this person I think about how inconsiderate it was for him not to button his boxer shorts. More often, it's the people no one wants to see get undressed doing the undressing. Worse, you will still have to deal with this person Monday morning at the office. The question is: How good are you at holding in snickering?

Despite all the peer pressure from coworkers wanting you to join them at the office holiday party, it is okay to say no. I am sure you can think of several other ways to spend that Friday or Saturday night. Go ahead and make up an excuse to tell your coworkers why you are not to going. Tell them you already have plans with family and friends. It is much better to pass the office holiday party then to go and loose respect for your coworkers. Keep work and work and spend your off time celebrating the holidays with your family and friends.