6 Terrifying Types of Unicorns

When you picture a unicorn, you probably think of something as un-terrifying as un-terrifying gets. You're most likely to imagine a pink and purple (and possibly invisible) creature composed entirely of rainbows, happiness, princesses, flowers, and love. The kind of unicorn that preteen girls doodle on their notebooks before they grow up to be either gamers or hippies (or a combination thereof).

But unicorns haven't always been this way. At least, not everywhere in the world. Some mythical unicorns have been absolutely terrifying. You'd prefer to encounter a fire-breathing dragon over these freakish (and, thankfully, mythical) monstrosities. Here are some of the most terrifying types of unicorns from history.

1. Karkadann

The karkadann, which originated in the Middle East, was massive and carnivorous. Described as a raging cross between a bull, a rhino and a wolf, this horrible beast gored elephants on its massive, spiraling black horn, and then flung their dead bodies around-- presumably just to show off.

In mythology, the karkadann inhabited the deserts (and nightmares) of Iran, along with several surrounding regions. Depending on the era and the description, it was said to range in size from the size of a rhinoceros to several times the size of an elephant.

If you happen to be visiting mythical ancient Persia any time soon, sleep with one eye open.

2. Re'em

This scary dude's mentioned nine times in the Bible as the embodiment of untamed terror. It was said to be as large as a mountain-- to the point that King David even decided to walk around on one for a while. I'm not sure how he could have missed the whole "furry, angry, breathing beast" thing, but people did some strange stuff back then.

According to legend, there are only two re'em unicorns at any given time; one on the East side of the world and one on the West side. And apparently they've got the whole Earth divvied up like Bloods and Crips.

They get together once every seventy years for angry mating, then the female bites off the head of the male after she's done. She stays pregnant with demon-unicorn-babies for twelve years, becoming so swollen and cranky that she can't move. She instead drools on the ground so that it will grow food for her.

Then the runts-- one male and one female-- rip their way out of her uterus, leave their mother's body to rot, and wander away to their own territories, where they proceed to terrify the heck out of generations of Bible-era Jewish children.

3. Camahueto

A carnivorous, single-horned bull is a scary enough concept, but the Patagonians decided to make the camahueto extra creepy by fusing it with a sea monster. According to Patagonian myth, this bloodthirsty green beast had fangs and claws, which it used to rip apart ships to eat the people inside them. Just in case you didn't get the hint, this unicorn-monster's name means "very bad."

The camahueto looked like a gigantic blimp with a unicorn- bull's head, the claws of a predator, and the appetite of a shark. For this reason, some historians believe that this terrifying type of unicorn could have been based upon mis-perceptions of manatees.

I'm not buying the "carnivorous manatee" theory, but the same harmless creature allegedly also spawned legends of mermaids. My conclusion is that people in antiquity were using LSD in the presence of sirenians.

4. Qilin

Part reptile, part ox, part lion, part dragon, and completely freaking terrifying. These Asian unicorns can control fire and condemn the wicked. Although they supposedly bring good luck to good people, I'm not willing to take any chances on the qilin's opinion of me.

I recommend running the other way should you ever encounter one in the wild. (Then consider having your medication adjusted.)

The qilin is a scary type of unicorn seen primarily in Japanese mythology, although its influence has spread to other Asian cultures, including China. Qilins were described as fierce, with flaming bodies, dragon-like scales, a single ox-like horn and a lion-like face. While I'd be eager to bump into a Lisa Frank style unicorn, I'm not at all interested in meeting a qilin.

5. Sin-You

In case you didn't think the qilin was scary enough, it has a more menacing Oriental counterpart. The sin-you is very similar to the qilin, but with a a lion-like body, four sets of ripping claws, and a horn that it uses to stab the heart of anyone who lies in its presence. Not enough? It also has eyes that can burn you to ashes if you look at the wrong way. So don't look at it at all.

The sin-you is more feline than the qilin, with a more predatory vibe and a more menacing reputation. Although, like the qilin, it is said to be good to righteous people, it is also supposed to be viciously cruel toward bad and dishonest people. It has a thick, fiery mane like a cross between a lion and a stallion, and is said to be about twice the height of a man.

In fables, the scary sin-you unicorn type is said to sit near a judge in a courtroom to help determine if a person is being honest. I don't know about you, but I'd tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth so help me God-please-save-me-from-this-thing if there were one of those things in the courtroom.

6. Indrik

So huge that the entire Earth shakes when it walks, the indrik beast of Russia is described as a gigantic bull with the head of a horse and a huge, stabbing horn. Thankfully, the indrik never existed-- but it loaned its name to Indricotherium, a prehistoric rhino-like monster more than twice the size of a mammoth.

An entire article dedicated to the horror of the indrik beast unicorn can be read here.

While we may imagine unicorns as cuddly, girly creatures that truly wouldn't harm a fly, many types of unicorn have inhabited nightmares at other times and places in history. Even the most seemingly harmless of myths sometimes have sinister origins.