6 Things Every Pregnant Woman Should Know

Every pregnancy, like every woman, is different. There are, however, some things that are universally true and we as moms and soon-to-be moms should come together to discuss them! During my pregnancy, I benefited so much from hearing about the experiences of other women - women at church, women online, family members, women authors - I hope that I can quell fears and answer questions for some of you by writing about my own experiences here.

Even before my husband and I conceived our son, I worked as a pregnancy/parenting teacher at an inner-city pregnancy resource center. I used mostly video curriculum to teach but I learned a ton through research and reading to answer my girls' questions. That research along with wisdom from other women was invaluable. Here are some of the things that helped me.

3 things I am glad I knew before I became pregnant:

*I'm glad I knew that doctors can be wrong -
In preparation for teaching my classes I read books from varying perspectives on the role of doctors in pregnancy/childbirth. The ones that really resonated with me were those that kept a healthy distance from both doctor worship and hatred. Doctors are trained, intelligent people who have skills and knowledge beyond what most of us do regarding the complications that can arise during pregnancy. That being said, the are not always right or even necessary. Healthy, knowledgeable women can often diagnose their own symptoms and keep up with their progress in pregnancy, and even when a doctors opinion or treatment is required we should keep in mind that they make mistakes.

When my little one had been gestating 8 weeks, I experienced some cramping and bleeding. I hoped for the best and tried not to worry as it wasn't heavy bleeding, but after it continued for a few days, and then a week, I got concerned and scheduled an appointment with my midwife. The dopplar registered my baby's heart rate at only 90bmp. We decided to do a blood test and get her doctor's opinion on what could be going wrong. My blood test showed declining levels of the hormone HCG and the doctor had my midwife call me and tell me that I was going to miscarry soon and if I didn't, I should come in for a D&C. I didn't want to be pressured into terminating a pregnancy that wasn't going to terminate itself and I had read some about falling HCG levels that made me believe that the problem may not be as big as they thought it was. I called my midwife to ask if I could come in for a sonogram the next morning. Even if my baby was dying, I wanted to give him a fighting chance and didn't want to have a D&C until I knew he was gone. The sonogram that day showed me my beautiful, bouncing jelly bean with a strong beating heart. I gave birth to him on valentine's day - a day after his due date - and he hasn't had so much as a cold this 4 months since he was born. I don't know what went on in that first trimester, but I am eternally thankful that I knew to check and check again when the doctor gave me the bad news.

*I'm glad I knew that my body was created for this -
It is normal to experience anxiety during pregnancy. Every woman has something she's worried about at some point because pregnancy brings about monumental life changes. It is so important for women to be told how capable they are during this season of life. Complications in pregnancy are the exception. Most healthy women are able to carry a baby to term and deliver without anything significant going wrong. Our bodies were designed to mother. The things that have to come together for pregnancy to occur are miraculous and pregnancy itself is an amazing journey. Don't let anxiety get in the way of enjoying every moment you have with the little one growing inside you. Your body knows how to protect, nurture, warm, rock, and deliver your baby. I am so thankful that I knew to trust my body and not listen to all of the negative stories and bad advice that I was bombarded with. "You're too skinny." "You are going to hurt the baby if you don't see a doctor every 4 weeks." "You're going to ask for drugs it's going to hurt so bad, just you wait." I don't know why we try to sabotage each other's experiences but it's easy to be overwhelmed if you don't go into pregnancy with a healthy self image and the knowledge that your body is amazing and capable.

*I'm glad I knew to ask for an itemized bill -
Babies shouldn't have to be expensive. They are tiny. They don't need much cloth to cover their little bodies, your mommy milk will give them all the nutrients they need (and it's free!), and they don't need much to be entertained. For some reason though, we are charged thousands and thousands of dollars to welcome them into the world. Even if the doctors job was simply "catching" a healthy baby. Whether you utilize a hospital and an OBGYN or have your baby at home or at a birth center with a midwife, make sure to ask for a bill that shows exactly what you were charged for each service. Even if your baby does need special care, don't assume your bill is correct. We were charged $900 for a circumcision that our son never received. Don't hesitate to ask questions and contest charges.

*bonus: I am SO thankful that I knew about contractionmaster.com. :) I would never have been able to see straight enough to record my contractions on paper, and it gave me something distracting to do while waiting for the action to get started.

Planned or unplanned, pregnancy can be scary and at the very least unpredictable. I enjoyed every minute of my pregnancy and even of the process of giving birth to my child, but I will undoubtedly do a few things differently next time now that I know myself and my body better. Some of the things that I learned after becoming pregnant affected my stress level negatively and I am grateful to have learned them now in preparation for expanding our family further.

3 things I wish I knew before I became pregnant:

*I wish I knew that midwifery is essentially illegal in my state -
If you have a chance to check out the available birthing options in your area before you get pregnant, take advantage of it! I assumed I would have a home birth and hire a midwife and didn't think to check the laws before we conceived. It turned out that the only midwives who can attend homebirths legally in my state are Certified Nurse Midwives and there is only one who practices in my area! I had no idea that my options were so few. We might have waited a bit longer or considered a move if we knew we would have to make difficult decisions about a care provider.

*I wish I knew that maternity insurance is hard to come by -
Two months before we became pregnant we decided to bypass open enrollment for my husband's insurance because I was on a cheaper high-deductible insurance and there was a one year wait for maternity coverage with his. I assumed we'd find a cheap insurance plan that covered maternity expenses when the time came. I later found out that there is no such thing as a cheap insurance plan that covers maternity expenses. There aren't even too many expensive ones. This next time around we will definitely have insurance established before we get pregnant. Even if you are intending to have a home birth or an unassisted birth, insurance is a good idea.

I wish I knew that mercury fillings are sometimes dangerous to remove -
*I heard somewhere that I should get my teeth examined at the beginning of my pregnancy since the 9 months often takes a toll on teeth and can aggravate existing problems. I'm not sure why I wasn't given the advise to do this before pregnancy since it is important to be very careful about doing dental work - or any medical procedures that require medication or anesthesia - while pregnant. In general, what goes into your body goes into the body of your baby. I found out at my appointment that I had cavities underneath my mercury fillings. I knew that I wanted to do research before I had any procedures done so I set an appointment for two weeks later to get them taken care of and went home to seek advise online. I also spoke with a friend who's husband had problems with dental work while he was on dialysis that led to his death and learned that I needed to be extra careful about getting work done on mercury fillings or getting mercury fillings removed because mercury is toxic and the process of removing it can introduce more mercury into your body than it can handle. Especially with another little body growing inside of mine, I wasn't going to take any chances. Letting cavities go for 9 months isn't fun either, so next time around I hope to get those things taken care of ahead of time.

*bonus: I wish I knew that if I had my baby in 2007 instead of 2008 our family would have qualified for $300 more dollars on our economic stimulus check. We could use it now! haha!