6 Tips on How to Stay Together

It can't be helped. Whether for reasons that are valid or petty, people get angry. But the key to not letting anger destroy your marriage is to not meet fire with fire. If one person gets angry then the other should calm down. A married short-tempered ice-cream-loving acquaintance of mine often came home angry from a long day's work. As she'd enter the house, she'd say to her husband, "Don't talk to me. I'm not in the mood." The common response of her husband would then be, "Then would you mind having an ice cream cone with me after a quiet dinner?"

2. Don't yell at each other unless the house is on fire

Sometimes it becomes easier to raise your voice at someone you know. Sometimes it is even much easier to lose your patience with someone who is always there. Raising your voice won't help you get your point across unless the house is on fire.

3. Compliment each other.

It's easy to overlook the small things that are nice about your partner because you assume he/ she already knows you think so. During courtship, you must have lavished so many flattering remarks that you'd think the other person would be stupid not to know. Fact is though; it's nice to be buttered up every now and then especially if most of the day was spent doing the laundry or wiping poop off the floor. More often than not, you may end up citing the bad things about your partner. True as these observations may, instead of making "you know what I don't like about you..." your favorite phrase let it be the opposite. Notice the small things about each other and let the other person know. Be generous with praise and stingy on criticism.

4. "I love you" should be the last thing you hear from each other everyday

If you're hoping for your marriage to last, would be worth it to repeat that commitment daily. Some couples reach the point of no communication especially when both have careers and children to take care of. Sometimes talking about how you feel may become a chore, but saying "I love you" and meaning it daily allows you and your partner to remember that promise.

5. Don't let the day end when your conflict has not

We'd like to put off settling arguments. Often we'd rather forget about them and move on with our lives rather than actually confront the issue to resolve it. But that is not always the best solution. Small conflicts tend to fester in our mind and build up. This has been dubbed the cause for a majority of divorce cases - irreconcilable differences. Please note that the word "differences" is plural. This is something any couple should strive to avoid. If it is possible to make up now, then don't wait for tomorrow.

6. Don't bring back past mistakes

Everybody makes mistakes and in the course of living together, sure as shit stinks, there will be a lot of mistakes made whether deliberate or accidental. I do believe in the saying, "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me." And I'm not saying to be stupid and be blind to wrong doings. I'm just saying that to stay together for the rest of your lives, if mistakes have been made in the past then let them stay in the past. Deal with conflicts a day at a time. There should be enough issues to handle daily without bringing up history. In the words of a Catholic priest, being married is striving to help the other person grow into the person God intends them to be.
The tips mentioned above are more often than not, easier said than done. But then again, nothing worthwhile ever came easy. Cheers to your relationship.