6 Unexpected Things About Bringing Home a Newborn

Bringing home a newborn for the first time is possibly one of the scariest things you can possibly do in your life. I think it's scarier than risking your own life for something because this time the life that's in danger is someone that you are solely responsible for-not just yourself.

There are a million and one resources out there on how to take care of a baby, but when I brought home my newborn, there were so many things that shocked me. I'd heard about sleep deprivation, about fear, about desperation and exhaustion, but there were many things either no one warned me about-or when people did warn me, I totally ignored them.

From my experience, these are the top things I wasn't expecting or prepared for when bringing home a newborn.

(For Moms) PAIN. Now, I had a vaginal birth, so I don't know what a c-section experience is like, but for me the aftermath of birth was a SURPRISE> I knew childbirth would hurt. I knew I would bleed afterwards. But honestly, I had no idea just how much pain I would be in AFTERwards and how LONG that pain would last. Getting in and out of bed for probably a week afterwards was painful and quite a process. Walking was uncomfortable for probably two weeks. Even six weeks after birth, I still wasn't quite myself. Close, but not quite. What this translates to is the very important aspect of having help-whether it come from a significant other or a friend, in my experience (and maybe I'm just a wuss), I needed someone to help out physically.

Even if you plan on breastfeeding, be prepared for obstacles. The last thing you're going to want to do after giving birth is go shopping, so be prepared for all possible avenues. Have a few nursing bras or tanks already purchased, even if you have to guess on size. If they don't work, you can always take them back later. In my case, due to my son's severe congestion, he struggled to eat the first few days. So, I had to pump to maintain my supply. I had not purchased a breast pump because I figured I would have time afterwards to really figure out what I needed. Again, be prepared. You can always return it if it's unopened. OR, have one picked out and have someone who can pick it up for you should the need arise. Have one or two bottles ready to go (sterilized) again, just in case. Eventually, you will need bottles so this wont be a waste. Don't worry about having formula unless you are definitely going to formula feed. My hospital and doctor gave me a free sample of formula in those first few days that lasted me quite a while since I was supplementing. You will also want a supply of nursing pads for your bras and some lanolin if you're planning on breastfeeding or pumping.

Noisy Sleepers. I had NO idea what people meant by infants being "noisy" sleepers. I thought they just meant crying and waking you up every hours. Nope, that's a whole other ball game. Most newborns have a lot of congestion from the transition to womb-life to outside-life. So, they are gurgling, sniffling, snorting little people. AND because its congestion, if you're a remotely light sleeper, it will freak you out because it often sounds like they're having trouble breathing. I was always about five seconds away from calling the doctor. But the thing was, my son was either soundly sleeping or acting quite unconcerned by the noises. And while I'm still not totally comfortable with the noises, I watch his cues to calm myself down and remind myself if he's not acting like he's in pain or really struggling to breathe, everything is okay.

You will freak out. I always considered myself a very mellow person. I go with the flow. I was prepared that I might be a little bit paranoid about his breathing occasionally, but I had no idea how even small things would bother me or how the worry would invade even my sleep. Those first two weeks both my husband and I would wake up suddenly thinking we were holding him. I don't know how many times I checked and rechecked my pillow before looking over at his bassinet and realizing my son was there and sound asleep (even if it was a noisy sleep). I would get upset to the point of tears if things didn't go the way I wanted. When my husband realized he was crying because he was hungry and I didn't, I felt like a total and absolute failure. I mean, I was the mother! I was supposed to have the instinct. Instead of being happy my husband figured out the reason for the mad screaming, I beat myself up for being the one who didn't. I think these moments are inevitable the first few weeks. You just keep holding on until you hit your stride and remind yourself it's okay to be upset, but it will get less frequent.

As long as baby is safe, let him sleep wherever he will sleep. From what I had read and friends I had talked to, I kind of figured that, sleep wise, a swing solved everything. One friend was so upset because her child would only sleep in his swing, not in his crib. Everyone seemed to talk about their infant rejecting the crib, but the minute they were in a swing they slept! So, we bought a swing. And when my son was screaming his head off, we put him in it... and he screamed even LOUDER. It wasn't until he was about a month old that the swing started to work. The bottom line is that every child is different. Let them sleep wherever they'll sleep, as long as it's safe and not a SIDS risk.

You will want button up sleepers with hand covers. If you're anything like me, you won't have to buy any baby cloths because that's what everyone will buy you. However, the clothes you will really want are the button up sleepers with feet and those little fold over hand covers. My son's nails were so long and jagged when he was born, but you're not supposed to cut them those first two weeks. Sure, you can buy the little baby mittens, but they don't stay on too well, especially at night. I also preferred the button up to the zipper. The zipper may be easier, but I was always afraid of zipping up some skin and pinching him while he squirmed.

In the end, as I've already mentioned, every child is different. In the same vein, every parent is different. No matter what, those first few weeks are tough, but everyone finds their own way of dealing with it. The more prepared you are, the more equipped you'll be to deal with bumps in the road. You can't be prepared enough to make it easy, but you can help yourself out bit by bit.