6 Ways to Deal with Difficult In-Laws
1. It is good to respect your in-laws and listen to their opinions, but what do you do if you don't agree with them? Be assertive enough to let them know how you feel, but say so in a nice way. It is much better to let them know your honest feelings instead of saying what they want to hear in an effort to please them.
2. Keep your relationship private. It's very easy to unintentionally involve your in-laws in your private matters. You could just be talking to you mother in-law, and it'll slip that you're having financial problems, or you're not getting along with someone. Involving them in your problems will only result in getting unwarranted advice. So, if you don't want her meddling in your relationship, be aware of what you say. If you in-laws do give you some unwanted advice, be respectful and listen, but you don't necessarily have to do what they say.
3. Set appointments with your in-laws. If you schedule time to see your in-laws, they'll be less likely to pop over unannounced. This can help with in-laws that tend to intrude whenever they feel like it.
4. It is necessary to set boundaries with in-laws. When you do so, speak to them in a respectful way so they don't feel like they are being rejected or scolded. If your mother in-law gives your child way too much candy, and you don't like it, you should let her know how you feel. Let her know that you appreciate her, but you don't agree with what she is doing. Respectfully, let her know of your needs.
5. Your spouse needs to know how you feel. Sure your in-laws are a pain, but remember, they're still your spouse's parents. The two of you need to agree on how to deal with them and remember to stay consistent.
6. Be polite without being fake. It's good to say things like "please" and "thank you" and offer to help when you can. Be cordial, but don't go overboard with flattery. Show some interest in them, or other family members. Ask questions and show that you care.
Relationships are full of challenges, and while most people wish in-laws didn't exist, we must take responsibility for our relationship and learn how to best handle them. Don't let your in-laws ruin your life. See it as an opportunity to turn them around, and maybe in the end, you might even get along.
Published by Shawna A
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5 Comments
Post a CommentDifficult to keep things private when your MIL rummages through your belongings - takes things out of your home and puts them in her purse to show her friends.
Believe me, I have known many people and families, but my in-laws take the cake for being rude, inconsiderate and cruel. Some people cannot be reasoned with.
I have no hope with my inlaws. They are rude, disrespectful and ignorant. Its hard to be respectful when you have never received it. They butt into everything and they dont respect my boundaries at all. For example, my husbands father said he is going to video tape me giving birth-can you say EWWW INAPPROPRIATE. They also talk crap abotu my parents because my parents have nicer things and make more money. I dont think there is any hope. I am just going to ignore them and treat them the way they treat me.
Sometimes, it is beyond hope to think that you might one day "change" them or get along, because they have set their mind not too. Good advice for simple nuisances though.
I agree with that!
Keep all things private. My MIL, the old bat, likes to tell how much each of her kids' mortgage is. We refuse to tell her. Drives her nuts. She wants to know how much we make per hour. We also don't tell her when we buy expensive things or go on vacations. She will not make us a meal when we go to visit. 4 states away! We are expected to pay for everything ourselves, but she will gladly eat at our home when she comes to visit. I talk to her as little as possible.