7 Proper Reasons to Buy a Book Made of Paper

I've always been a strong advocate of eBooks. Before the Kindle came out (hell, before Amazon.com existed), I've read books on computers, on PDAs and cellphones, iPods and finally, quite recently, actual dedicated eBook readers. I would rather throw a podcast or audiobook on my iPod than listen to an album, half the time. In short, I'm no stranger to dealing with books in an electronic format; you've probably seen a few of my articles on here about them.

It might be the bipolar nature of stances in the US, where if you're pro-one thing, you must be anti-another thing , but some people seem to be of the opinion that being in favour of eBooks means you're looking forward to the day when paper books are a distant memory, and you can only read them on a screen. Not only will that never, ever happen, I wouldn't want it to.

Although, when I come across articles like this, I almost want to advocate the eradication of paper, just because it would mean there would be no way I could be associated with people who think like this. What we have there are six arguments a paper book is preferable to an electronic one. In this specific example, we're given the two tired old tropes of 'you can't beat the feel/smell of a book'. I'm surprised they don't go all the way and tell us you can't beat that old fashioned papery taste. The remaining four range from the ridiculous ("paper books are pretty!") to the sublime ("Sometimes, I like to buy a book and not read it.")

At no point are the actual words mentioned, which personally I would have thought would be the most important part of the book. If the content is worth reading, if it transmits ideas and concepts and emotions, then surely the medium is just dressing.

So I decided if you're going to do this kind of thing, let's at least give them seven compelling reasons why you might want to buy a paperback over an eBook. We'll stay away from content and the like, and just go for actual reasons a paperback would serve you better.

1. You can read it in the bathtub - Douglas Adams noted how you wouldn't use a mac notebook in the bath, or if you would, it was presumably not your notebook. This also occurred to Stephen King, although he was more concerned with dropping his Kindle in the john than the bath, a situation I've never quite experienced. The point remains, though: If you drop a $20 paperback in the bath, you're going to be dismayed. It's an acceptable risk compared to dunking a $200 piece of electronics.

2. No battery life - My Kindle will run for days without needing recharging. Turning the wireless off apparently doubles this time, though that would involve depriving myself of Wikipedia and the like. So far, it's never run out of juice, though the possibility that it might halfway through a shift remains. With a paperback, this is never going to be an issue.

3. Bookshelves - Sometimes, it's just nice to have books to fill space. The spines decorate a room cheaply, and you can tell a lot about someone just from the books they have on display. Get enough of them, supposedly, and they make wonderful insulation for the walls.

4. You're broke-ass poor - eBook readers are getting cheaper, but there's still a fairly hefty outlay for essentially a one-trick device. You can get paperback for a tenth of the price new, a fraction secondhand, or even get them for nothing from the library for a while. Many libraries are starting to offer online books, but you've still got that large initial price to surmount.

5. You're more likely to be able to actually read your paper book on the bus - I wish I had a commission from Amazon. Almost every ride, someone will approach me on the bus to see what the gadget is I'm holding ("no, it's not an iPad"), want to know how much they are, and spend a little time appreciating the wondrousness of such a doodad, before swearing they're going to get one for Christmas. Perhaps a 1% cut of the sales generated from this would be nice. Much as I don't mind showing the Kindle off, there's a certain irony to not being able to read the damned thing because of the admiring crowds it draws. You'll still get some crazies if you're reading a paperback (this is public transportation, after all), but the odds of being left alone to read are in your favour.

6. You can't run Nethack on a Kindle - Admittedly, you can't run it on a paperback either, but there's no nagging suspicion that you ought to be able to with a book. My benchmark for years when purchasing portable gadgets has been if it would allow me to play this as well. The Kindle has been my first break from this tradition, and I vaguely feel like I'm cheating on the game somehow.

7. It's difficult to convince an author to sign a Kindle - Asking them to do so will only get you mentally labelled 'Worrying' by them. Enough said.

A BONUS eighth reason, free of charge:

It's environmentally sound to buy paperbacks - much as most pro-eBook articles will claim otherwise. By buying paper books and keeping them, you're locking an appreciable amount of carbon out of the biosphere. Nothing is going to eat or burn those books, and therefore contribute to the production of greenhouse gases. From a purely atmospheric point of view, collecting books is as eco-friendly as levelling the Amazon Rainforest and laying tarmac over the area; both stop all that carbon getting back into circulation.

There may be other reasons why turning South America into the world's biggest parking lot is not a good reason, but they escape me. Collecting as many books as you can is solid advice, however.