7 Steps to a Better Relationship

1. Understand that most people don't intentionally want to upset you. Your loved ones don't stay awake at night thinking of ways to tick you off. They are human and therefore will say things they don't mean, not phrase their words properly, forget to do things you've asked and even act selfishly from time to time. It doesn't mean they WANT to give you headache. Sometimes it is our responsibility to understand their weaknesses and help them by holding them accountable, reminding them, improving our communication skills and more importantly forgiving them.

2. Understand that people are different. When you expect people to act, respond and behave like you when they aren't you will not only upset them, you will upset yourself in the process. Learning about each other's differences will give you knowledge you need to communicate effectively. For example; most men like to be spoken to in a direct manner without a lot of emotions or details. If something is bothering you or they did something to offend or hurt you, let them know immediately in an instructive loving tone and don't expect them to know what you are thinking. Most women on the other hand are more detailed and emotionally sensitive. Bringing details, feelings and emotions into the conversation will show them that you care.

3. Begin with the end on mind. Before you even begin to speak, begin with the end in mind. How do you want them to feel towards you when you are done speaking to them? What do you want them to do with the information you give them and what kind of a mood do you want them to be in when you leave? By thinking of them first and the outcome you would like, you can direct your approach towards the desired outcome.

4. Don't keep doing the same thing if it isn't working. One of the definitions of insanity is doing the same over and over again expecting different results. If you know that someone is going to get upset when you bring up a point and you bring it up anyway in the same manner; it is YOU that upsets them and therefore your fault. Think of a different approach or have someone else bring the point up that may be able to do so without sounding offensive. Sometimes it takes repetition and creativity before we are able to properly connect.

5. Have a heart to heart. When you are both in a good mood sit down and LOVINGLY tell each other what bothers you the most about their behavior, making sure you also tell them what behavior you would like to see instead and why. Keep in mind that perception is reality to each of us and if they say something bothers them, it bothers them. Whether you think it should or not doesn't matter and don't tell them they are wrong, ridiculous or that they should not get upset over those things. Either help them to understand you better or you change for them.

6. Learn to say "So What" and "What's the Big Deal?" more often. Too many people make mountains out of mole hills. They argue over trivial things, especially when you compare them to the really important things in life. Really; compared to all the horrific things we could go through in life, are the things that bother you so much worth damaging a relationship over?

7. Intentionally make their day! Do something every day that brings a smile to their face. Be intentional about it by leaving them a note, text message, voicemail or by doing something special. It takes 7 positive experiences to overcome 1 negative, therefore the more positive experiences we can create for our loved ones; the better chances we will have of seeing them in a good mood.

One of the most popular books that every couple should read is Men are From Mars, Women are from Venus by John Gray It's a practical guide for improving communication and getting what you want in your relationships. It will open your eyes, make you laugh at the truth and force you to look in the mirror at the same time. More importantly, it will help keep your relationship strong.

Make your relationships great!

Bob

If you enjoyed this post, please pass it on!

Subscribe to Simplified Success Tips here!

View more Posts at http://www.bobwagner.org