7 Things You Should Know About Your Child's Pre-School Teacher

I've seen some very negative press about the teaching profession as of late, and it disturbs me quite a bit. I'm not technically a teacher; my official title is "Teacher's Aide," but I spend as much time with the children and perform many of the same functions as the teacher does.

I know a few "bad" teachers, and I've had my experiences with the Nurse Ratchet types throughout my school career, but at the end of the day when I look at the extraordinary people I work with, it becomes completely clear to me that teaching is not only a labor of love, but a calling. Parents, I implore you - how exhausted are you after spending a weekend or a vacation with your children? Now, imagine having 20 or more children, 8 hours a day, 5 days a week. I love every child that comes through my class each year, but at 28 years old, I find gray hairs popping up like daisies on my head and a new wrinkle asserting its place at least every other week. I'm reverting socially - do you have any idea how hard it is to try to hold an adult conversation when you're using words like, "boo-boo," and "owie"?

But I digress. The point of this piece was to give insight into the daily lives of a typical pre-school teacher, so we shall continue with the seven things you should know about your child's pre-school teacher:

1. If you're wondering why your child's teacher looks 52 when she's only 30 at best, it's because your children are convinced that they are secretly monkeys, and the classroom is a veritable jungle at their disposal. Don't look at me like that - do you have any idea how many heart attacks we have in a day when, while we're helping little Suzie mix a perfect shade of purple, we look up and see little Johnny hanging upside-down from the "child-proof" equipment, smiling and waving the whole way? The very same "child-proof" equipment that, just moments earlier, we pulled little Johnny down from and gently advised him would hurt very much and make us very sad if he fell?

2. We smile more than Miss America pageant contestants - only, we don't get the Vaseline. Or the crown. Or the benefit of looking anything close to glamorous while we do it. If we look haggard when you come to pick up your precious little one, it's because our faces hurt.

3. We really do get a kick out of your kiddos. I'm sure you've heard the saying, "Out of the mouths of babes." When you try to teach 3-5 year olds something important like the Pledge of Allegiance, hilarity ensues: "...and to the wee public, where midgets stand, one station, under Bob, with liver tea, and fruitcake for all."

4. We don't have a single article of clothing in our school wardrobes that isn't stained with paint, boogers, play-doh, or mac & cheese. If we are unrecognizable in public, it's because our clothes are clean, our make-up is in tact, our hair isn't half pulled down (or out), and we don't have the typical accessory of several small children wrapped around our shins or hanging off of our arms.

5. If we hear another person say something along the lines of "Aw, it must be nice to get paid to finger-paint and read Curious George all day," you might see a one-person homage of the Exorcist. Sure, we spend 6 hours reading, painting, running, modeling writing and tooth-brushing and good manners, coloring, cuddling, reassuring, and nurturing - but we spend the remaining hours of our work days (which I assure you, often run longer than a typical 8 hour work day) scrubbing, doing paperwork, filing, putting together curriculum and activities, and praying that our employers would incorporate massage, stress management, and general therapy into our company benefits.

6. Yes, macaroni and cheese get old. Fast. So do chicken fingers, fish sticks, and french fries that have to be baked (to a dry, unrecognizable as anything edible finish), milk, cold cereal, and sandwiches. The next time you complain that you don't know where to eat for lunch, be grateful that you have the option. And, that you're not limited to milk at every meal, when you're lactose intolerant. Grrr.

7. It's not true that we make snap judgments about parents by the way their children act (kids are kids, after all, and we know that kids pick up things from other kids, daycare, other adults, and apparently have super-sonic hearing to the point where they hear everything you don't want them hear from as far as a few houses down the block), but do remember that if there is something embarrassing for them to dish on you, dish they will. Every chance they get. To every person they come into contact with. You might want to consider using smoke signals the next time you need to vent to your friend about how obnoxious your mother in law is or how your sister had the gall to wear white in her wedding.

Truth be told, there have been days where I've threatened not only to change my name, but to change it to a naughty word so that the kids couldn't say it. In all honesty though, as stressful as working with children is, it's worth every minute of it. I can't speak for every teacher (or Aide) out there, but most of us are here because we love our kids, love our jobs, and want to help our kids succeed not only in school, but in life.

If your child has a great teacher, tell them so. There are good and bad teachers just like in any other profession, but for the most part, teachers are extraordinary people who spend far more hours than required, money out of their own pockets, and sometimes literal blood, sweat, and tears to make even the smallest difference in the world. Work with your child's teacher, and be amazed at how your child progresses by leaps and bounds - and know that they're as proud of your kiddo as you are.

Oh, and instead of sending an apple, send chocolate. And coffee. Lots and lots of coffee...