8 Signs of Commitment Phobia

The signs of commitment phobia are not as obvious as one would think. While it's true that someone may be afraid of commitment, it does not always mean they are just afraid of getting married or settling with one partner. Being afraid of commitment may be evident in other situations or activities in a person's life beyond just their relationships.

There are many reasons why someone may be afraid of commitment in their relationships. They may be afraid of losing their individuality, their space, or their freedom. For others, fear of commitment may be due to past experiences, individual insecurity, or other deeper emotional reasons. Many people think that only men are scared of commitment but it is true that women may be just as frightened of commitment as well.

Here are Some of the Signs of Commitment Phobia:

1. Frequent Address Changes: If you notice someone changing addresses more than once every year, it could be a sign that they are afraid of sticking to something for any extended period of time. While sometimes moving may be out of a person's control, generally most people do not move more often than every few years.

2. Frequent Career Changes: In an uncertain economy many people are changing jobs or careers in the hopes of securing a better future. However, the commitment phobic person may have complete job changes frequently. A commitment phobic person may be a cook one week, a real estate agent the next, a rock star another, and maybe be studying accounting and psychology on the side.

3. Backing Out at the Last Minute: Someone who is afraid of commitment frequently cancels and changes plans. Again, sometimes circumstances beyond your control can cause this. However, if it becomes a regular pattern that someone does not show up or calls the last minute to change plans, or never even actually makes plans and sticks to them, it can be another sign of fear of commitment.

4. Hesitant to Talk About Feelings: Talking about one's feelings can make them feel especially vulnerable. If you are afraid for example to tell someone that you deeply care about them or afraid to admit your true feelings, it could be another potential sign of fear of commitment when combined with the other signs.

5. Having a Long List of Must-Have's for a Date: It's not a bad idea to consider what qualities would make a compatible mate, but when there is a long laundry list of characteristics and requirements, it's quite possible you may never meet someone who could possibly meet all of your dating criteria. While this may be subconscious, it could also be another way of avoiding commitment.

6. Dating Mr. or Mrs. Wrong: Just as the last sign could be a symptom of commitment phobia, it could equally be a sign that someone is afraid of commitment when they constantly date someone who is wrong for them, even fully knowing that person is the wrong type. This is yet another way to avoid the fear of commitment since the relationship is likely doomed right from the beginning.

7. Two-Sided Emotions: The commitment phobic person may sometimes seem like two different people. He or she may be sweet and caring one day, and angry or apathetic the next. Not being consistent in behavior or emotions could possibly show they are afraid of commitment.

8. Afraid to Talk About the Future: While it's true it is better to live in the present than to worry about the future, to some degree you should be afraid to talk comfortably about the future and set goals or plans. Someone who is afraid of commitment may get angry when the subject of the future comes up or is not interested in discussing it in any great detail.

While none of these signs are a sure diagnosis for commitment phobia or other behaviors and conditions, it can be a signal if many of these symptoms are present that you or someone you know may have problems committing to relationships or other things in your life. Fortunately, commitment phobia can be treated and cured with the help of self help books and professional counseling. Learning the signs of commitment phobia and admitting that it may be a problem is the first step in getting over your fear of commitment in relationships and other aspects of your life.