8 Tips for a Safe and Satisfying Birth

Having a satisfying and safe birth free of unnecessary intervention does not have to be a struggle. If you don't want your labor room to turn into a battle zone, prepare by doing plenty of research, and following some specific guidelines that are sure to improve your, and your baby's, experience.

1. Thoroughly research what kind of birth you desire (medication free, waterbirth, home or birth center birth, hypnobirth, etc.) and hire your care provider accordingly. Even if you already have an OB whom you have employed for gynecological care, make sure their beliefs about birth are in line with yours and don't be afraid to switch if you have to. You wouldn't go to McDonald's and order lobster, you are not going to get a laid-back natural birth with a doctor who has a 60% cesarean and 90% episiotomy rate.

2. Strongly consider, especially if you are planning a hospital birth, hiring a doula. Research shows that having a doula drastically reduces pain medication usage as well as cesarean rates among moms who use one. Many fathers-to-be do not want a "stranger" in the delivery room. Frequently, however, after the birth is over dad is the one singing the loudest praises. Doulas are there for you and your partner, to support you both through the physical and emotional work of birth.

3. If you are planning a hospital birth, wear your own clothing. Hospital gowns are very effective at making one feel, and thus act, like a patient. Laboring mothers are not patients, they are women going through a normal, natural process. Don't underestimate the influence that wearing your own nightgown can have on your mindset going into the birth.

4. Make a post-birth plan for your baby and have your partner go with him or her to the nursery to make sure that your wishes are respected. If you do not wish for the baby to have bottles, tape a clearly lettered "BREASTFED ONLY - NO BOTTLES" sign into the baby's bassinet.

5. Only allow supportive people into your laboring space. Fearful energy will only sabotage your body's ability to birth efficiently. If you are choosing an alternative birthing option such as homebirth or unassisted birth, do not allow yourself to engage in defensive discussions with family or friends who don't support your choice.

6. Try to avoid negative influence throughout pregnancy as well; avoid the horror story one-upsmanship that often comes as part and parcel with gatherings, especially baby showers. If you can't escape gracefully, keep your reactions to a minimum so that you don't feed the drama mill, saying something low-key, such as "I'm sorry you went through that."

7. Believe in yourself and your body's amazing power to give birth to your baby without meddling and technology. Your body grew your baby and it knows how to birth him or her. Have confidence in the greatest ability you were born with. Barring serious, genuine medical complications, your body needs no drugs or "help" getting your baby out.

8. Above all, be gentle with yourself. If the birth does not go as you had hoped and planned, take time to process it mentally and don't allow others to tell you that it doesn't matter, or that all that matters is that you brought home a healthy baby. That's not all that matters - nature designed us to give birth and when that process is subverted, either through meddling or necessity, it can throw off the chemicals and hormones that give us physical and mental closure. If your baby is born surgically, seek out support from others who understand your complex feelings, from groups such as ICAN (International Cesarean Awareness Network). A physically and emotionally healthy mother is every bit as important as a healthy baby.

Giving birth is one of the most amazing, powerful things a woman will ever do in her life. Prepare well - you wouldn't run a marathon without training. Be informed - you can't make the best choices if you don't know what they are. Don't be passive - you are a grown adult, your care provider is not your parent and no one can "let" or "not let" you do anything you don't feel is absolutely necessary to yours and the baby's safety. Take responsibility for your choices, and no matter what happens in the end you will know you did the best you could to maximize your chances for a great birth as well as your baby's chances at the best, gentlest start possible.