9 Steps to Being a Better Parent

You know that as a parent what you do on a day to day basis matters. If you did not have great parenting role models, want different results, or you simply want to up your game, consider the following tips on being a better parent.

Decide. Take the time to outline your parenting goals. Decide what is most important to you regarding your day to day life as well as the long-term results you want to see. It is much easier to plan when you know what you are aiming for. As morbid as it sounds, it may take considering "how you want to be remembered" in order to come up with parenting goals.

Prevent problems. Be proactive and focus on encouraging good behavior rather than constantly "putting out fires." I found early on that issuing punishments is like punishing myself. If I make it a point to set clear boundaries and change how we do things to prevent future issues, I am a much happier mom.

Communicate. Kids cannot read your mind, and while you may be much better at deciphering a child's thoughts, you really do not know the whole picture either. Practice communicating with your child from infant-hood. Since narrating the day helps them build language skills, this is a win-win behavior. Leave room in your schedule to discuss the days events and dreaming up future possibilities. Communication is not all task-oriented, leave room for imagination and creativity.

Anticipate needs. Like prevention, anticipation has you looking towards the future. The difference here is that when you anticipate you are considering needs. Anticipate what your son needs after football practice, a snack, and you can have it ready instead of scrambling. This does not mean catering to every whim, but it does mean thinking ahead. Pack the car with essentials, think about downtime and be prepared like a boyscout.

Be solution-minded. Your child is going to mess up. Even with all the prevention, communicating and anticipating needs, they will make a bad decision. Be mentally prepared. Issue whatever consequence is necessary and then focus on the solution instead of pointing blame, piling on shame and taking it personally.

Model good behavior. Hold yourself to the same standards as you hold your children. If you value honesty, patience and curiosity for example, be sure you are showing these qualities. Perfection is not the goal though. Let them see you owning up to mistakes and asking for help when needed as well.

Consider the whole. Micromanaging a child's behavior can leave you with a very narrow perspective. Step back from time to time to look at the big picture. Emotionally charged moments can be diffused by looking at the situation more objectively. For some parents this may bring in a whole other layer of stress as they imagine this small event snowballing into a life of crime. Avoid that mindset as you remember struggles with your own parents, or consider having the same argument with your best friend. Would you really make a fuss if they showed up for lunch wearing red rain boots?

Get involved. Don't be a sideline parent, get down on the floor and explore with them. When they get older this means stay engaged. Plan activities that let them see you as a person, not just a parent. Going on roller coasters with my teenage daughter created fun memories, as did playing with fingerpaints and swimming in the lake.

Take time for yourself. Get off the guilt trip train. Taking time for yourself is necessary and non-negotiable. Even if that time is just in the next room curled up with a book, you need to step out of your role every so often. A person cannot give one hundred percent of the time. You will be a much better parent if you acknowledge this and help your children understand early on that time-outs are not just a punishment!

More by Sylvie Branch
Dinner table: Feed them and they will talk

Family newsletter designed by kids for kids

Is lifting weights appropriate for kids?

Is my child ready to babysit?

.