90 Days to Surrender

June 2010 I went on a cruise with my family for our bi-annual reunion - totally self-conscience of the 252 pounds I had wrapped around me. Feb 2011 I started a 90 day weight challenge with Curves gym. My expectations were low. My hypothyroid condition had convinced me that I would have to struggle to lose weight the rest of my life.

When I started at Curves I was wearing an 18W (totally denying the need for a 20+W). Last week (July 8, 2011 to be exact) while at the mall, I danced in the dressing room of the JC Penney outlet at the Grapevine Mills Mall because the size 16 dress I tried on was too big on top and a perfect fit on the bottom. That prompted me to go home and try on all of the clothes in my closet I couldn't wear (many still with tags on them - sizes 14 and 16) because my weight shot up so fast after I purchased them. Perfect fits!

My journey continues. Even though I know the clothes are not lying and the scale is not lying . . . my eyes still see chubby layers brought on by an undeniable disease that almost prompted me to totally give up on even the idea of losing weight. This disease put me in moods which lead me to believe I needed to be comforted by my favorite guys - Ben and Jerry and other warm, spongy delights (Krispy Kreme lemon filled, Panera Bread double chocolate cookies, Pappadeaux bread pudding or sweet potato pecan pie. . .)

January 2011, as with every New Year, I sat, cleared my mind and let God know that I was ready for a holistic change (body, finances, and career). Therefore I know finding the Curves challenge was not a fluke. I know my friend Bonita did not tell me about Dave Ramsey on a whim. I know it was not due to happenstance that an old colleague called to tell me about an opening in his department (which I didn't even realize I had applied for) for the job I started one month after giving my letter of resignation to my old (and incrediably stressful) job. I know that this new journey is something I should be paying close attention to. It has truly become a lifestyle change. It is also the manifestation of some things I have asked for consistently over the years and finally I feel I am now ready and thankfully (apparently), worthy.

What has been most prevalent to me about this journey is that there is some sort of significance in 90 days. I do not know if there is a biblical relation. I did attend Dallas Baptist University. But I did not study to be a Theologian nor did any additional education tracks prepare me to be a Numerologist. So, I cannot speak from either of those perspectives.

What 90 days taught me was that it took that long for the whole process to become a habit. Total commitment and surrender to the program is what made it work. Sure, the thyroid thing is an issue. But, had I given up on trying to find a program that would actually work (had I not let God know that I was really really serious and ready to totally surrender) I probably would be 352 pounds this year. I shudder from that mere thought.

My journey has nothing to do with wearing cool, trendy clothes or looking (dare I say) sexy. All of that is just an effect of the process. Good health was my mission. Having had sat at the foot of my mother's hospital bed June 15, 1984 as she died from an illness that was misdiagnosed for years, I remembered her telling me often, "Baby, if you don't have your health you don't have anything." She stood 5'3 (barely) and was 120 pounds at her highest weight. So, no. Being thin has not been my objective. I actually like my curvy shape. This gelatinous, protective coating is the issue; an issue that can exasperate an existing condition; an issue that can lead to other diseases; an issue that is well over due to be a NON issue!

So, as I continue to reach for optimum health, I honor my mother and grandmothers memories (both taken too soon due to complications with Lupus) by living life to its fullest , knowing that an illness is more of a speed bump in life and making certain that the care I get is helpful, consistent and legitimate. An illness may slow me down. But my faith and belief in God lets me know that Hypothyroid is not my name, occupation or attitude. I am fierce, energetic and guided by a force that controls everything on the planet. Therefore I know my thyroid issue is not as scary as . . . let's say . . . driving on I-820 (or any other highway in America with heavy construction) on ANY given day!

If all goes well, I will reach my complete goal of being significantly under my starting 54% of body fat. On top of that, my Curves results will be seen this fall via a national infomercial which will promote their new 90 day program. I can happily say that I still enjoy my workouts and the eating change has done remarkable things for my entire body. I sleep well, no longer have joint problems and my hair is growing at a rapid rate. Actually, most people notice the hair growth before they notice the weight loss. Funny!

I've said all of this to encourage anyone who is dealing with illness, weight issues or just if you're still not sure what you want to be when you grow up.

• Identify your issue the seek out a program that has been successful and is within your budget
• Surround yourself with people who are being successful at something you desire. Ask them about the steps they took to gain their success. Ask them to include the trials and tribulation - especially if they have an issue similar to yours. Remember Google, Bing and other search engines are your friend! And let's not forget our bestest friend THE LIBRARY!!
• Knock down obstacles until you get results!!! You are not that disease, issue, moment or something suggested about you by others. You are a whole human being who is entitled to live a physically, financially, emotionally healthy life. But, you have got to apply a program and some principles to keep you on track. SIDE NOTE: Get off of your butt and DO SOMETHING!!!

So, if you find yourself on the road to SICK AND TIRED OF BEING SICK AND TIRED, that is your queue to pullover, do your self-assessment and find your way back to you! Because if you think about it, at the end of all seasons . . . days . . . moments, the only person who you will ever HAVE TO be with is . . . YOU!

Cheers!

** I am only posting before photos because they keep me focused, motivated and humble. I like my new look and will definately share this three-fold journey (all of it - the good, bad and idiotic) at a later date.